


On Blood-Red Salt

by silvermarie



Category: Star Wars Sequel Trilogy
Genre: AU from the ending of Last Jedi, Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Eventual Smut, F/M, Force Bond (Star Wars), Inappropriate Use of the Force, Kylo Ren Redemption, Not Canon Compliant - Star Wars: The Last Jedi, Slow Burn
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-01-04
Updated: 2020-01-14
Packaged: 2021-02-27 06:09:11
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 8
Words: 41,016
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22112371
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/silvermarie/pseuds/silvermarie
Summary: A What-If story, branching off from the end of Last Jedi – What if it was Rey who had faced down Kylo on that field on Crait, instead of Luke?AU branching from the battle on Crait; ignores events of Rise of Skywalker because lmao
Relationships: Kylo Ren/Rey, Poe Dameron/Finn, Rey/Ben Solo | Kylo Ren
Comments: 104
Kudos: 631





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> this is the 3rd story I've written in like a week since reylo bit me with the writing bug; it's getting out of hand tbh
> 
> you can come join me in my hopelessness at https://light-reys.tumblr.com/

Rey arrived on Crait in time to see the Resistance’s failed attempt at stopping the First Order from blowing a hole in the door. She could feel her friends inside the base, terrified, weary, losing hope. “Artoo, I’m setting down right in front of that hole,” she said. The droid beeped a _‘whatever you need to do’_ , at her. Rey had been struggling to keep the connection to Ben closed but she knew he was up there in his ship. She didn’t know what she was going to do, but her friends needed time to escape.

Rey set the ship down with little care for the landing. It tilted sideways as she got out of the pilot’s seat and headed for the hatch.

The ground was bleeding, and the sight made her stomach churn. When was the last time she’d eaten? Days? A week? She stepped out onto the salt flats and searched for Leia in her mind. _‘I’m here,’_ she sent to her, as strongly as she could _. ‘I’ll buy you some time. Get them out.’_

 _‘Rey, don’t do this,’_ Leia sent back, a desperate edge to her. _‘Get inside, we can-’_

 _‘Do as I say!’_ Rey snapped at her.

She felt Leia’s surprise, and the connection was silent for a moment. Then, _‘May the Force be with you.’_

Rey severed the connection with a violent finality, then walked around the edge of the ship and stepped into the open. She felt it when he caught sight of her. A ripple went through her, like stepping out of the sun into cold shadow. Rey took a deep breath, opened her eyes, and walked forward.

She kept her pace slow and even. The walkers were terrifying and made her heart ache, because they also looked like home. She wondered what would have happened if she had sold BB-8 as Plutt had asked. Would Ben have found her eventually anyway? Or would her abilities have lain dormant without him forcing his way into her mind and unlocking them?

She stopped in the middle of the field of battle, halfway between the walkers and the door. She looked up at Ben’s ship, hovering above them all. “Get down here, Ben Solo,” she said, voice calm and even. And she stopped resisting the bond.

His voice was in her head in an instant, sullen and cold. _‘We have nothing further to discuss.’_

“I disagree,” she said aloud. “And I have something for you.”

_‘A knife in the back?’_

“If I was going to stab you, it would be in the heart.”

She felt his indecision for just a moment, then the ship began to touch down. She took a couple of steps back, remembering the first time she’d seen it. It felt like a lifetime ago. Rey forced herself to remain calm and relaxed. She could not antagonize him too quickly. She had to keep him talking, keep him distracted.

The door hissed open and she saw his boots on the ramp, watched as he was slowly revealed. Tall, so tall, she could just see him as a boy, slumping his way around the Falcon –

 _‘Stop,’_ came his voice in her head, angry. _‘Ben Solo is dead.’_

He was on the ground now, facing her. She held up her hands in a placating gesture. “I’m going to come a little closer,” she said, nearly shouting. “I just want to talk.”

“You said you have something for me,” he said, voice raised over the sound of the machines around them. “Give it to me.”

Well, shit. She hadn’t exactly thought that through, had she? What did she have? She assessed her possessions quickly, going over them in her mind, still slowly walking towards him. And then, in a flash, she knew.

“That’s close enough,” he said, voice harsh and with a manic edge. “Give it to me!”

Rey stopped and shook her head. “You’ll have to come closer _.” Stars, please let this work._ She cast her mind to Leia; they were working on getting out but had not escaped yet. They needed more time.

She watched as Ben fought with himself. She had put her shields up again so he couldn’t know what she was doing, but she didn’t need to read his mind to know what he was thinking. What could she possibly give him that he would need to be in arms reach to receive?

Her hand.

Rey saw the moment he thought this, the way his eyes met hers with a cautious sort of hope. _That’s it_ , she thought. _Closer_. She took a step forward and this time he did was well. They slowly made their way towards each other, two lone figures on a field of blood red salt.

Ben stopped about five feet from her, but Rey kept going. She watched his eyes shift, watched the confusion, wariness, and then something like fear blossom on his face. But she didn’t stop, and he did nothing to stop her. She walked with a steady, unyielding pace until she hit him hard in the chest, grabbed the edges of his cloak, pulled him down and kissed him.

Ben smelled like smoke and metal and ozone. He tasted of salt and blood, and Rey felt the connection between them burst like dam. She could feel everything he was feeling, their minds were as one, and the thought rang clear somewhere between, where they were linked, a hopeless, desperate plea of _‘I wish this could last forever’_ and then -

And then time _stopped_.

Rey and Ben felt it at the same time; they each gasped against each other’s mouths then pulled back. Rey looked and saw dust and rocks hovering in the air, saw the fire around the hole in the door frozen and motionless. She looked back at Ben. “Did you know you could do that?”

Ben met her eyes, looking just as stunned as she felt. “That wasn’t me,” he said slowly, haltingly. “Or – not just me.”

Rey looked down at her hands in wonder, then met Ben’s eyes again. His face was clouding over. “This was a trick,” he said, breathing harshly. “A distraction so your pathetic Resistance-”

“Forgive me for preventing you from murdering your mother!” Rey’s voice rang clear and cold in the unnatural silence.

Ben stared at her, his eyes wild and glassy. He bared his teeth and ignited his lightsaber. Rey flinched and prepared to run.  
  
Nothing happened.  
  
Ben looked down at it, then tossed it aside and reached for her with the Force. She braced herself to be thrown or choked.  
  
_Nothing happened.  
_  
Rey opened her eyes again to see Ben staring at his hand as if it had betrayed him. She gave him a grim little smirk. “I supposed you’re just going to have to actually hit me. With your hands.”  
  
His jaw worked, and he looked angry and stymied. “I’m not going to do that,” he said finally.  
  
“Oh?” she asked. “Is that too messy? Is it easier to ignore what you do when it’s a clean, cauterized wound? When you can snuff the life from a man with a flick of your wrist, never having to get your hands dirty? Would you have killed your father if you’d had to beat him to death instead of using your fancy laser sword or making him choke on air?”

He glared at her. “What you’re doing, it’s not going to work,” he said. “You had your chance at my side. You rejected it. You turned your back on everything I could offer you. There’s nothing more you can say that will change what’s going to happen.”

“No? Then it won’t hurt to listen, will it?” Rey said with logic she knew would aggravate him.

Ben shook his head. “I’m done listening.”

“That’s rich, considering you never started in the first place.”

Ben’s eyes bored into hers. “I listened,” he said. “I can do nothing but listen when you speak.”

Rey moved a little closer. “Ben-”

“Don’t call me-”

“Stop it! Ben is your name and I’m not going to call you by any title that horrible creature gave you!” She stood in front of him, hands clenched at her sides, angry and determined.

Ben swallowed whatever protest he’d had. He warred with himself for a moment before gritting out, “Fine. Say your piece.”

Rey took a deep breath. She had so many arguments, so many things she could try and sway him with. “Was that your first kiss?” was what came out.

Ben stared at her then scoffed and turned away. His eyes raked over the landscape, and he did not answer her.

“Because it was mine,” she said. “My first, I mean.” She saw the muscle in his jaw twitch as he clenched it.

“You used your first kiss as a trap to distract me from attacking your friends,” he said with disdain. “Will you offer up your virginity to convince me to retreat?”

Her face burned red. “In your dreams,” she said, trying to play it off.

He looked at her then, eyes dark. “Yes,” he said, voice low and restrained. “In many of them.” Then he looked away again, and she knew he was regretting that little reveal.

Rey scrubbed a hand over her red face, tired and dirty and just wishing that she could lay down somewhere soft and not get up again. “When I left Luke to come find you, he told me this wouldn’t turn out the way I thought. And it didn’t. You disappointed me.”

Ben scoffed. “ _I_ disappointed _you_? You came to me, across the stars, we stood together and killed Snoke, but when the time came to make a choice you chose _them_.” He pointed angrily at the base. “Traitors and thieves, desperate people clinging to a world that no longer exists.”

“And what did you think would happen?” Rey demanded, moving closer to him. Her feet kicked up dust that froze in the air as she walked. “That I would take your hand, sit on a throne, and just – just stand by and watch you kill the only friends I’ve ever had? No power is worth that.”

“I wasn’t offering you power,” Ben said.

“Love, then.”

Ben sneered. “ _Love?_ Is that what you think this is?”

Rey’s eyebrows went up. “Why don’t you tell me what you were offering, then?” she said. “If not power, if not love – what exactly would I have gained by taking your hand?” When he stood in broody silence and did not answer, she shook her head. “That’s what I thought. You were the one who would benefit, not me.” She turned away from him, pacing a bit.

They were silent for a couple of minutes, not looking at each other, Rey angry and hurt and wanting not to have to do this. She could feel something coming off Ben, but he was blocking her. Finally, she tired of the silence and snapped, “Would you just end this thing already? Start time again, unfreeze the world or whatever, and let’s get back to killing each other.”

Ben looked at her, and it was the look from the elevator. Conflicted. Tired. Trapped. “I can’t,” he said. “We’d have to do it together. And… it might not work.”

“Why not?” she demanded, crossing her arms.

Ben gave a huff of frustration. When he spoked again, the words burst out of him like they were escaping against his will, ringing loud in the still air. “Because I don’t want to kill you!” He was panting from his outburst, and she watched him yank off his gloves, dropping them so he could run his hands through his hair unimpeded. He began pacing this time, not looking at her. “You know how this happened, you must have heard the thought in our heads that we didn’t want it to end, so _we_ stopped time. If time starts again, right now, I will be standing here in front of you, you will be defenseless, and I will have to kill you. And I don’t want to do that.”

Rey’s bottom lip trembled. “I don’t want to kill you either.”

Ben spread his arms wide. “Then we’re trapped,” he said.

“Unless one of us makes a choice,” Rey said.

He gave her a narrow-eyed look. “We already had that conversion. It didn’t end well for either of us.”

“Then let’s try again,” she insisted, undeterred. “The Force has given us time. Let’s use it. We give our best arguments for why each of us should join the other’s side. If we can’t change each other’s minds, then…” She gave a helpless shrug. “Then we do what we must. But let’s give each other a chance.”

The look he was giving her was wary, but not an outright refusal. “What would be the rules?”

“Rules?”

He nodded. “Is there anything off-limits?”

She thought about that for a moment. “No,” she said decisively. “There’s too much at stake. No holding back, no tiptoeing. We’re having this out, once and for all.”

He nodded again. “Alright. You go first.”

“Oh no, _you_ go first.”

Ben sighed noisily and reached into his pocket. He drew out a single credit and held it up. “Heads or tails?”

“Heads.” Rey said, hands on her hips.

She watched as he threw it into the air and let it fall between them on the sand. They both leaned in. Rey grinned. “Ha!” she said, skipped back a bit. “Heads – you go first.”

Ben made a frustrated sound. “Fine. Give me a minute.”

“Take your time,” Rey said generously. She dragged her toes in the red, wet salt, listening to him mumbling to himself. He had shut her out completely now, and since he was mumbling in a language she didn’t speak, she was completely in the dark.

“You’re going to hurt someone someday,” he said. She turned and stared at him, confused and wrong-footed. That was certainly not the tack she’d expected him to take.

“Excuse me?” she said, offended.

“You’re strong,” he said, moving a bit closer to her, intense eyes trained on her face. “Rey, you are more powerful than you know. And you have no training, and no one to train you. Don’t think I didn’t notice that Luke didn’t come.”

Rey lowered her eyes a little, ashamed of her failure to convince Luke to assist.

“You’re running on instinct right now, and whatever you dragged out of my head in that interrogation room,” he continued, merciless. “And so far, your instincts have been relatively harmless. But what happens when you get really, truly angry? What happens the next time you _hate_ someone? If you aren’t trained then one day, probably one day soon, you’re going to lash out and you could kill a lot of people. Or worse.”

“I would never-” Rey began indignantly but he cut her off.

“What would happen in your head if I killed that traitor, FN-2187?” he asked. She frozen, picturing Finn’s face, the light gone from his eyes. “All that pain, that rage, and no control, no training to contain it? People would die. Possibly your friends.”

Rey cast about for a response. “I have Leia,” she said.

“She’s not a Jedi,” he sneered. “She’s a politician, a soldier. Why would your Resistance need Luke if he had an equal right here?”

“I would _never_ hurt my friends,” Rey said, and she could feel herself starting to tear up.

“And what about people who aren’t your friends?” he asked. “Enemy soldiers? Bystanders? People who get in the way?”

Rey shook her head and began pacing. “You’re saying I should join you, join the First Order, because I might one day lose control?”

“You will,” he said. “It’s not a question of if but when.”

Rey crossed her arms defiantly. “I hope you have more than that.”

He nodded. “I do.” He stepped forward and reached for her.

She took a step back, alarmed. “What are you doing?”

Ben raised an eyebrow. “We set no rules, remember? Nothing was off-limits? Come here.” His voice was firm and she hesitated, but eventually moved to stand directly in front of him. She had been the one to say there was no rules, after all. He had offered boundaries and she had refused them. To Rey’s surprised, he reached out and held a hand on either side of her face, not touching her, but close enough that she could feel the warmth of them and see the calluses and scars. Then her vision was gone.

Ben took control of her inner sight and showed her a table. A table covered in _food_. Her stomach churned and her hands began to shake at the sight of it. She could smell it too, almost taste it in the air. A table of hot, real food. She had never had fruit before. Or desserts. Meals of things mixed together, foods turned into new foods, and the drinks! What did water taste like when it wasn’t harvested and reclaimed? Would wine be sweet or sour?

The image moved and this time showed a bedroom. It wasn’t on a star destroyer or space station; it was in a house by a lake. It was warm, but not hot. She could feel the sheets beneath her hands and _stars_ , she’d never felt anything so soft. Her body ached to lay down, to wrap herself in fluffy blankets and just… just close her eyes. Just rest.

Ben was relentless. Next he showed her a village, all green and blue, in the midst of some sort of festival. Wonderful smells filled the air and colorful banners flapped in the breeze. Children darted between the adults, laughing and chasing each other with toy swords. Someone, a man, took her by the hand and twirled her. They danced to music that wove into her mind, made her giddy and hopeful.

And then it was over, and she was standing on a battlefield while tears made tracks down her cheeks and Ben Solo – Kylo Ren – stood before her looking desperate and sad. “You would never want for anything,” he said, his voice low. “ _Anything_. Anything you wanted would be yours. You wouldn’t even need to say it out loud. I would know, and I would give it to you.”

Rey stumbled away from him, wiping her face, doing nothing but smearing the dirt around. She turned her back on him and tried to make her throat work. Finally she managed, her voice rough, “Are you done?”

He was silent for a moment. Then, “Yeah.” It was quiet and resigned.

“Give me a moment,” she said, echoing him. He didn’t answer but he didn’t need to. She stood with her back to him, doing her best to calm her breathing. She ached for the visions he’d shown her. She imagined living in that warm house on the lake with him, sitting down to eat together, cooking together, going into the village to watch the children play. She ached for it in the same empty place in her chest that she ached for her parents.

But it would come at the cost of her friends.

She thought of Finn’s face, or Poe’s or Chewie’s. Dead in the ground while she ate her fill and languished in Kylo Ren’s bed.

Her desires were not more important than their lives.

And she knew exactly what to show him in return.

Rey took a deep breath. “Okay,” she said. “I’m ready.” She turned back around and saw that he stood there, watching her.

“Fine,” he said. “Let’s hear it. Tell me I’m a monster but I can be _forgiven_ ; tell me the Resistance would have a place for me, chained up like a rabid dog where I won’t hurt anyone.”

Rey shook her head and moved in close to him, their chests nearly touching. She watched his Adams apple bob as he swallowed, looking down at her. “Is this the part where you offer your body in exchange for your friends?” he asked, and though he said it in a disdainful way, she knew he likely didn’t realize she could hear the thread of hope underneath it.

“No,” she said kindly. She raised her hands up just like he had done to her, cradling his face with just a scrap of air to keep their skin from touching. She met his eyes and saw the conflict in him. “This is the part where I hurt you.” And then before he could react, she _opened_ her mind to his.

This was not the surface bond they shared, able to speak across the stars but not hear deeper thoughts. This was not the shallow probing he’d done to her, or the clumsy return she’d managed in the interrogation room. She opened herself to him utterly and completely. And when he didn’t dive in quickly enough, she forced her mind into his, filling up every dark little corner of him with herself.

Rey took him through the entirety of her life. She let him see her parents’ abandonment in full color, forced him to lay on cold stone floors while the adults around them paid no heed to tiny fingers under their big feet. She took him through her childhood, running and hiding from men who called her ‘pretty thing’ and offered food in return for her small body. She showed him the dead, the piles of dead, every single time she’d found a fellow scavenger dead of heat or thirst or starvation or an accident while scavenging. How after the first few friendly acquaintances she’d met with milky eyes and worms in their skin, she had stopped making friends.

Ben tried to pull back from her mind, but she grabbed on and held him _. ‘We’re not done,’_ she snarled at him, and kept diving.

Rey showed him when she’d saved BB-8, meeting Finn and her grand adventure in Ben’s father’s ship. She forced him to feel the excitement she’d felt at meeting the legendary smuggler Han Solo. How he’d looked at her like she was worth something.

Ben saw himself as Kylo Ren through her eyes, a demon with a hellish sword stalking her through the trees. The absolute terror she’d felt when she’d woken up, chained and alone with him, at his mercy. What would he do to her? What did he want? She felt him recoil at the implication that he would have harmed her, but what else was she supposed to think?

She forced him to watch himself kill his father. To see from the outside the way he had hesitated, the tears in his eyes. How much his father had loved him in that moment, and how much she had hated him for doing it.

 _‘Stop,’_ came a brittle voice in her mind, but she pushed on, unwilling to let go until she felt she’d made her point.

Next, she showed him the aftermath of Han’s death. Made him look into his mother’s eyes as she gave a eulogy, speaking with such grace about the man she hadn’t seen in years.

 _‘Han Solo was a good man,’_ she said to the mourners _. ‘It seems like such an inadequate thing to say, but I want you to consider what those words mean. A good man. He was_ good _. He was a smuggler; he broke half the laws he knew, and plenty he didn’t bother to learn. But he was good. He loved Luke and he loved me and he loved – he loved our son. He loved and he was good.’_

_‘Han Solo was a brave man. We say that about most people who fight but I want you to think about what it means when I say it about him. The war was not his fight. He would profit no matter what happened. He had no stake in politics, no love for the Empire but no desire to risk his life to rebel. And then he did. He loved and his love for us, for me, for Luke – it made him want to fight for something greater. He could have turned and walked away with nothing to lose. But Han Solo was a brave man.’_

_‘I loved him,’_ she said _. ‘I once had to watch as Han was lowered into carbonite. I thought I would never see him again. I told him that I loved him. He said I know.’_ She chuckled. _‘What an ass’_. The mourners gave soft amused sounds _. ‘People like Han Solo are the reason we’re fighting now. For the brave, who are brave because they choose to be, even when it doesn’t benefit them. For the good, who are good in the ways that matter, if not in the ways that are strictly legal. For the ones we love, and who love us.’_

The scene faded and Rey felt Ben’s broken, _‘Please’_ in her mind. She gave him no mercy. Now she showed him Luke, the regret etched into every line of his face, the solitude he’d enforced on himself when he’d realized what he’d done. She took Ben through their encounters in the Force, the way she’d seen them. Seen him. The doubt that had entered her mind when he’d called himself a monster.

 _‘Monsters don’t think they are monsters,’_ her mind had whispered to her _. ‘They think they’re heroes. He doesn’t think his path is right; he thinks it’s what he deserves.’_

Ben had stopped struggling against her now, and she could barely feel him against the onslaught of her own memories she was forcing into him.

She took him through the events in the cave, not just with words but making him feel it this time. And then, how his own words had comforted her in a way that had given her hope, so much hope. There was light in him, she knew it. He was kind in moments when he didn’t need to be. _‘Don’t you see it?’_ she whispered to him, showing him his own face bathed in warm firelight, handsome and full of compassion for her. She let him feel what the touch of his fingers had done to her, the frisson it had sent through her. _‘There’s so much_ good _in you, Ben Solo. Stop fighting it.’_

And then, finally, she showed him the scene they had just left. The throne room and the bodies of the guards around them. Her painful, overwhelming hope that was shattered at his words. He had broken her heart and she made him feel the heartsick rejection and failure she’d felt as he told her she was nothing to anyone but him.

And then she let him go. She opened her eyes and he stumbled back from her, falling to his knees on the ground. He lowered his head into his arms, elbows in the dirt, and _screamed_. It echoed around the frozen field and made something inside her chest crack open. He began to weep as it faded, heavy, heaving sobs that shook his overlarge frame.

Rey’s head was splitting open. She took a step away, then other, then went down to her own hands and knees and gagged, dry heaving, her body trying to empty her already hollow stomach. She thumped to the ground on her backside, sitting there and shivering, letting Ben cry himself exhaustion.

She didn’t know how long she sat there. With the sun frozen in the sky, there was no way to know much time had passed. It was a while though. After some time, she began singing in her mind, soft lullabies that soothed her aching head. Her mind felt like an angry wound, and the songs were like a cool balm. She had gone through her entire repertoire twice by the time she realized the crying had stopped. Rey looked down at herself and began ripping the draped cloth from beneath her belt. She came away with a few sizable rectangles of fabric. She crawled her way over to where Ben lay, still huddled on his knees with his head in his arms, hands in his hair.

“Ben?” He didn’t move or speak. She took one of his hands and gently pressed the cloths into it. Then she turned her back to him. She waited and listened and soon she heard him sit up, heard the sound of cloth on skin. She knew he wouldn’t want her to see his face covered in tears.

They sat in silence for another long stretch of time. Finally, she heard him shift in the dirt. When she turned around, he was sitting on the ground, knees up and arms wrapped around them, looking so lost and so very young. Rey took a deep breath. “Well,” she said, then winced as her voice echoed overloud in the empty air. She cleared her throat and lowered her voice a bit. “Have you made a decision?

He met her eyes and then looked away quickly, but she had seen it. Shame, so much shame.

“Alright,” she said decisively. “We’ll need to come up with a way to keep them distracted so we can get to the bunker. The Resistance is on its way out an escape tunnel, but they need some time-”

“What makes you think-” he began, but his voice broke. It was so hoarse that he could barely get the words out. He cleared his throat violently. “I haven’t made my choice.”

Her face softened. “Haven’t you?”

He blanched and looked away again. Without turning to her this time, he said quietly, “If we work together, we can short out the walkers. Not for long, but long enough for us to get to the bunker and follow the Resistance out.”

Rey felt her chest ache and she beamed at him, bright and happy. “We can,” she said, voice warm and firm. “We can do this together, Ben.” She crawled closer and reached for him, taking one of his overlarge hands in both of hers. “We can do it. You can teach me.”

At that, he met her eyes with the barest, faintest shred of hope buried beneath the self-loathing and grief. Rey got to her feet, pulling him up after her. “Why can’t we just go for the doors now,” she asked, “and fix time once we’re there?”

“We could,” he said. “But that would mean revealing to the First Order that we can either teleport or stop time, and the less they know about your abilities – or mine – the better. The saw us standing here... kissing… when time stopped. If we start time all the way across the battlefield, they’ll notice.”

Rey nodded, then said, “Wait… so then we would have to be kissing again when we restart time?”

He shifted, looking guilty. “We don’t… _have_ to,” he mumbled. “They might just assume we stopped very quickly, and they didn’t notice us pulling away.”

“But it would be more realistic if we were,” she prodded.

He nodded, looking miserable, but she didn’t think it was because he didn’t want to kiss her. She hoped it wasn’t, anyway. “You’re right, we don’t want them to know we can do this. _We_ didn’t even know we can do this. I want to discuss it with someone who understands the Force before we tell anyone.”

“I agree,” he said.

“Alright. Okay.” She shook her arms out, trying to loosen the knots in her shoulders. “How do we short out the walkers?”

He reached for her again, just one hand towards her temple. “You learned how to mind-trick people from digging around in my head,” he said, with only a little bitterness. “I should be able to show you how to do it. It’s not a substitute for actual training but it should work for this.”

Rey’s head still ached but it was lessening with every moment, so she moved close and closed her eyes. She worried he might try to take revenge for what she’d done to him, but instead she saw the two of them on the battlefield; watched them turn and each fling a hand out to the walkers. They sent out a shockwave that condensed as it went, targeting key areas and causing the walkers to short out, to begin to fall. The image faded.

“Okay,” Rey said again, nodding. She opened her eyes to see Ben staring at her with his usual intensity. “We can do that. Are you ready?”

He glanced down at their feet, then planted his hands on her waist and began to maneuver her back. “Hey, what-?” She smacked at one of his hands but it did no good, and without the Force to help, she really couldn’t stop him from moving her where he wanted to be. When he stopped, seemingly satisfied, she glared at him.

He shrugged. “This is where we were standing.”

She grumbled a bit but didn’t argue. “Okay. Back to… what we were doing.” She reached up slowly and tugged him down by his cloak.

He didn’t resist until he was hovering right above her lips. Then he stopped and she could feel his indecision. “Ben,” she whispered against his lips, and felt a shudder run through him. “It’s now or never.”

He hesitated a moment longer then he closed the distance and kissed her. This was not like the kids they had shared before the time-stop. He hadn’t kissed her back then, had been frozen there, shocked by her actions. But now Ben was kissing her, and his arms came up around her back to pull her in close, and she felt time begin to move again. It wasn’t sudden like it had been when it stopped. It wound up, like a canon heating to fire.

Ben made a desperate little noise in his throat and then time came rushing back. She felt Ben shift, felt him turn towards the walkers and she followed. They flung their hands out at once and she could feel Ben tugging at her, guiding her power with his.

Rey watched as the wave hit the walkers and they all staggered, sparks flying. They all seemed to stand still, teetering, then one by one they began to tilt over. “Now!” Ben barked, and the two of them took off for the door as fast as they could run.

Rey heard Ben’s communicator go off. “Traitor!” screamed Hux. “Shoot them, kill that traitor and his rebel whore!”

Mid-stride, Ben pulled the communicator out of his belt, crushed it in his hand, and let the bits of plasteel fall to the ground. That’s what she realized he’d never put his gloves back on. They were somewhere on the salt flats still.

They reached the door while the First Order forces were still scrambling and fighting with dead controls. “Finn?!” Rey called, voice high and rough. “Poe? BB-8??”

“This way!” came a voice. It was a member of the resistance, but not one she recognized. A man, dirty faced and looking roughed up. He came running up to them. “We’re almost out, the Falcon is-”

He stopped and his eyes went wide and Rey didn’t even think, they didn’t have time –

“He’s meant to be here,” she said, haphazardly waving her hand and putting as much power as she could behind it.

“Y-yes,” the man said. “He’s meant to be here.”

“Help us escape,” she said.

“C’mon,” the man said, turning back to where he’d come from. “I gotta help you escape.”

They followed him through the caves, and the further they got, the more she could feel her friends, Leia, the whole of the Resistance.

The cave emptied out into a ravine where the Falcon waited for them. She could see people helping each other into the ship, saw the way their eyes went wide and they reached for their blasters at the sight of Ben.

“No!” she shrieked at the crowd, skidding to a halt, hands up as she stood between them and Ben. “We don’t have time for this! We have to move now, the First Order could regroup at any moment!”

“Do as she says,” came a voice that made Ben flinch so hard that he knocked elbows with Rey.

Leia stood in the hatch of the Falcon, staring down at them both. “Everyone inside the ship, now. We can deal with unexpected passengers once we’re safely away from here.”

Rey’s heart swelled with gratitude and she grabbed Ben by the hand and dragged him up the ramp and into the ship. She looked around hurriedly, then decide the cockpit might be the safest place for them.

She found Chewie there, with no co-pilot. “Ben, sit down and shut up,” she said, and shoved him down into a seat. Then she slid into the co-pilot’s chair and joined Chewie in the start-up sequence. Chewie didn’t comment on Ben’s presence, but whether he was okay with it or just too busy to care, she didn’t know.

“Everyone’s loaded!” came a voice from behind them, and the ship shuddered and lifted. Rey could see the First Order troops having left the walkers. They were marching into the base. She grinned and punched the hyperdrive.

The stars stretched and the ship _jumped_. Her bones rattled at the first jolt, then her body relaxed as it sank in that she’d done it. They had escaped.


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The Resistance regroups, tentative steps are taken, and the consequences of Rey's actions on Crait come back to bite them in the ass

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> thank you all for your comments; its nice to know people are liking my weird AU thoughts

The cockpit was silent for a few minutes as it sank in that they were free. Then Poe Dameron came banging into the small space, grabbed Ben by the front of his tunic, and hauled him out of his seat.

“No!” Rey was out of her seat at once and grabbed onto Poe’s arm. She spoke to Ben though, whose own hands were still at his sides, fists clenched tight. “Ben, don’t hurt him,” she said.

Ben’s jaw clenched. “Get him off me,” he said through gritted teeth.

“Poe-” Rey tugged on his arm, trying not to start something that would damage the ship.

“This son of a bitch-” Poe began.

“Careful,” Ben sneered. “That’s your general you’re talking about.”

Poe tugged him forward then slammed him hard against the seat. “Shut up! Give me one good reason I shouldn’t put a blaster bolt between those beady eyes.”

Ben stared at him, eyes hard. Then his gaze cut sideways to Rey, who still had a grip on Poe’s arm. “Because I’m asking you not to,” she said.

Poe didn’t take his eyes off Ben. “I’m not Finn,” he said harshly. “I’m not gonna listen to you just because you bat your eyelashes at me.”

Rey felt the effect those words had on Ben, but she didn’t rise to the bait. “Poe, listen to me,” she said, voice low and hard. “Ben helped me distract the First Order forces. We knocked out the walkers together. Even if he’s only here for me – he’s here. It’s enough.”

Poe glared at Ben for another long moment before he gritted out, “Fine.” He slammed Ben back into the seat once more, then finally looked at Rey. “This murderous bastard is your responsibility,” he said, pointing an accusing finger at her. “If he hurts anyone, it’s on your head, Jedi.” Then he turned and stormed off, slamming a fist against the bulkhead as he went.

Chewie, who had been silent the entire time, stood up then. He made his way past them, placing a comforting hand on Rey’s shoulder. When he looked down on Ben though, Ben cut his eyes away and did not speak. Chewie continued out of the cockpit, likely heading to check on Leia. And then they were alone.

Rey ran a critical eye over Ben. He looked as exhausted as she felt. She wondered when he had last eaten, if he could even remember. Was he using the Force to sustain himself? She eyed the cloak slung haphazardly around his shoulder. “Stand up,” she said.

Ben did as he was told, not looking at her. He looked lost in thought. She took advantage of his distraction and unclasped his cloak from his neck, letting it settle into a heap on the seat. Then she went for the buttons of his tunic. That got his attention. He caught hold of her hands and widened his eyes at her. “What are you doing?” he asked. Then his face clouded over a little. “Batting your eyelashes?”

Rey made a face at him and tugged her hands free. “It will be easier on everyone if you’re not stomping around looking like Kylo Ren,” she said. “Are you wearing anything under this?”

“Oh… that – yeah, I am.” He began to undo the buttons himself and she took a step back to give him room. She wasn’t sure what she was expecting – or hoping for – under the tunic but the sight of a soft, loose-fitting jumper wasn’t it.

“Nice sweater,” she said with a smirk.

“Shut up,” he said, with no heat behind it.

They stood in silence for a moment, both shifting uncomfortably. Finally, she said, “We can’t avoid them forever. She’s out there, just a few feet away. You’re going to have to speak with her.”

Ben looked away, arms wrapped around himself defensively. “I know,” he said quietly.

“Do you want me to go out there with you, or do you want to go by yourself?”

Ben stared at her. “None of them saw the – the kiss,” he said. “Are you sure you want to make that statement? Let them see you with me?”

Rey winced. He was right, it would look bad, so bad for her. She wasn’t sure if any of them would understand. Finn, maybe. He was a defector. But Finn had defected before being forced to kill, _because_ they were forcing him. Ben had already killed so many people. He had nearly killed Finn, had tortured Poe… killed Han…

“I get it,” came Ben’s voice harshly. “You stay here, and I’ll-” He broke off as Rey stepped forward and took one of his hands in both of hers. He was breathing heavily, clearly upset by her train of thought.

“Ben,” she said softly. “I told your mother I would bring you back, and I did. I’m not ashamed of it. Or you. Come on.” She pulled him forward and he followed behind her, letting her lead him into the back of the ship.

Most of the survivors were in the storage and cargo bays, holed up and tending to the wounded. In the lounge were Leia, Chewie, Poe, Finn, a sleeping Rose, and the droids. Rey led Ben there, not letting him stop until they were in the room, facing all of them.

Leia’s face was a mask. She was clearly trying hard to control her own emotions, to contain the situation. None of them spoke for a long time, but Rey saw Finn’s eyes drawn down to her hands, linked with Ben’s, and the way his face got stormy and dark.

Finally, Chewie spoke. “I’m sorry I shot you.”

Finn looked confused but everyone else shifted uncomfortably. “I’m not,” Ben said, voice choked.

“Ben,” Leia said finally, her voice rough with emotion.

“Alright, everyone out,” Chewie said, and began herding the rest of them away. Rey squeezed Ben’s hand once and allowed herself to be led out of the room, to give Ben and Leia some privacy.

Once they were in the galley, Finn whirled on Rey and hissed, “What the hell is going on?! Why is he here?”

Rey took a steadying breath. “He helped us on Crait-” she began, but Finn cut her off.

“No, I don’t want to hear whatever arguments you’ve thought up to convince everyone else to let him stay. I want to hear from _you_ why he’s here. Why did you bring him here, Rey? _Your_ reasons.”

Rey twisted her hands together. Chewie had wandered off, but Poe was still there, looking angry, leaned in a corner with his arms crossed. “There – there’s good in him,” she tried, but Finn scoffed at that.

“You were right there with me when he murdered Han Solo,” Finn said, jabbing a finger at her. “His own father, Rey. A good man. He murdered him in cold blood, for no reason! It wasn’t like Han stood a chance against him. He did it because he wanted to.”

Rey felt the first tears fall down her cheeks but rather than letting up, Poe stepped in too. “You said he helped on Crait,” he said, pushing away from his place against the wall and moving closer. “How did you convince him to do that?”

Both pairs of brown eyes turned to her, and Ben’s eyes were brown too, and it was just too much. “We’re bonded,” she burst out, before the words devolved into a sob. She dropped her face into her hands and cried.

The boys shuffled their feet for a moment, then both were enveloping her in their arms. She clung to them, heaving and hiccupping, trying not to break completely. They gently set her down on a bench and sat on either side of her, rubbing her back and letting her weep against them. Finally, as she began to calm down, Poe handed her a handkerchief.

“What do you mean, bonded?” Finn asked gently.

Rey took a deep breath. “The Force has… connected us. Connected our minds. Unless we’re actively shutting each other out, we can feel each other’s presences, our thoughts and emotions. It’s powerful and I don’t understand it but it’s there and I can’t - he’s-” She gave Finn a miserable look. “He’s a part of me.”

The boys were silent for a moment. Then Poe said, a rueful little smile on his face, “Sorry. I was an ass.” He raised her hand to press a kiss to the backs of her fingers and she gave a watery laugh.

“It’s alright. I don’t blame you.”

“You’re a hell of a woman, Rey from Jakku,” Poe said, and pressed a brotherly kiss to her temple.

_Rage._

She felt it through the bond, sudden and sickening. Rage, and hurt, and jealousy. She looked up and saw Ben there in the doorway, and if she didn’t have the bond, she’d have thought he had no opinion on the scene in front of him. Finn and Poe turned as well, and she watched their expressions darken. “What do you want,” Finn said flatly.

Ben ignored him. He met Rey’s eyes and through their bond said, _‘The General wants to see you. If you’re not too busy being fawned over.’_ Then he turned and walked away.

“Uh… what was that?” Finn asked, even as Rey stood with a sigh.

“Leia wants to see me,” she said, scrubbing a hand over her face.

“How do you know?” Poe asked.

“Ben told me.” She turned and saw their confused looks. “I told you. The Force has-”

“Connected you, yeah, we got it,” Finn said. “I guess it didn’t really sink in that you could just, you know… read each other’s minds.”

“Well, we can.” Rey straightened her clothes and turned to them with her arms out. “How do I look?”

Poe gave a cheeky grin. “You look-”

“Beautiful,” Finn cut in, giving Poe a nudge in the ribs.

“Like a million credits,” Poe said, nudging Finn back.

“Okay,” Rey said, ignoring another wave of sick, hot, angry jealousy from Ben. “Keep an eye out for him; don’t let anyone shoot him.”

Poe gave a lazy salute and Rey turned away from them, heading back to the lounge. Leia’s presence in the Force was a calming one. It washed over her as she entered the lounge and helped steady her nerves, helped her hands stop shaking. Leia smiled at her and Rey smiled back, tentative and hopeful. Leia motioned to a bench and Rey sat down.

“You really did a number on him, kid,” Leia said, and Rey winced.

“I don’t even know how I did it,” she said. “It was instinct. I just – opened to him.” She blushed as she realized how that sounded.

“This is going to have an impact on your bond with him,” Leia said, unfazed. “I don’t know what exactly, but I’m sure you’ll be feeling the effects soon.”

Rey nodded. “How… how did he seem?” she asked gently.

Leia sighed. “Tired,” she said. “Running on fumes. I don’t think he’s eaten or slept in weeks.”

“I think he’s using the Force to keep him going.”

“He is,” Leia confirmed. “And he’s going to crash soon. He may be out for a day or so when it happens, but he’ll recover. He always healed fast.”

They were silent for a moment. Then Rey burst out, “Did I do the right thing, bringing him here?”

Leia studied her. “You’ve been in my son’s mind,” she said. “You know him better than anyone ever has. Is there good in him?”

“ _Yes_ ,” Rey said with feeling.

“Do you think he can be brought to a place of peace?”

“Yes,” she said again, a little less sure but hopeful.

“Then you did the right thing.” Leia gazed into the middle distance, speaking as if dredging up long-buried memories. “My brother taught me that there’s always another choice; another way. The Emperor wanted Luke and Vader to kill each other, for power. For entertainment. The remains of the Jedi wanted Luke to kill Vader, his own father, to bring balance to the Force. But balance isn’t created through violence and Luke knew that. He had such wisdom then.” She gave a little laugh. “Or maybe it was naivete. Sometimes that’s more powerful. Sometimes learning too much can get in the way of what you _know_.”

“I hurt him,” Rey said, quiet and ashamed.

“Yes, you did,” Leia said. “But how many broken bones have you set? Dislocations? Healing hurts. What you did wasn’t violence; it was mercy.” Leia reached out a hand and Rey took it, moving to sit next to her. “Rey, I want to thank you,” she said seriously. “My son is alive and in my reach again. He’s here, instead of sweeping across the galaxy. He chose to come back to us, because of you. Thank you.”

Rey felt her eyes well up, but she choked the tears back. She nodded. “It’s not over,” she said. “The First Order won’t stop just because they lost him.”

“No, but having him here buys us some time,” Leia said. “I imagine his absence will cause a power vacuum. Ben said that Hux will likely take over, but he’ll need to regroup with the rest of the First Order before he can come after us. We’re on our way to an old base from the last war. A much safer one than the one on Crait. We can regroup there and plan for the end of this. But one way or another, my son is _here_.” Leia patted Rey’s cheek. “You should find somewhere to get some rest.”

“I will. Thank you, General.” Rey stood and left her there, looking after the still-sleeping Rose.

Rey made her way shakily from the room. She wasn’t sure where to go; most of the space was taken up by the remains of the Resistance; huddled in corners and on cots. He trailed her fingers along the wall and walked until – she took a step back, pressing her fingers against a bit of wall that was just a little different than the wall around it. She could feel Ben there. She turned to it and could see a shape like a door, slightly off-color from everything around it. She pressed her hands to it and tried to find a catch, a release.

Before she could, the door swished open and Ben stood there. “Looking for something?”

Rey lowered her hands. “A place to sleep,” she said.

He straightened a little. “And you came looking for me?”

Rey’s face turned red. “What? No, no, I-” She made a frustrated noise. “I felt you behind the wall and I just – I got curious.”

His eyes took her in, her smudged, dirty skin, her messy hair, her disheveled clothes. She wrapped her arms around herself, feeling exposed under his gaze. Finally, he sighed, and stepped back just a bit. “Well, come in then.”

Rey pressed past him into the – it wasn’t a room, really. More like a cubby, something small and cramped, meant for hiding. It had a small cot in it, hanging on the wall, and small shelves covered in… toys. As she looked, she realized everything was child-sized, even the room itself. She turned to Ben with wide eyes and he shut the door, trapping her in with him in a space not much bigger than a closet. “You were a child here,” she said in wonder.

“I was a child in a lot of places,” he said dismissively. “But yes, this was my room on the ship.”

“You slept in here?”

“No – I mean, yes, but it wasn’t my bedroom. I just… I liked the solitude, so he-”

“It’s nice,” she said, cutting off that line of thought. “I like it.” She could picture him here, a small boy, drawing on the walls and playing space pirates.

“That’s not – my ears were bigger,” he said. He motioned to her head. “Your mental image of me is very… kind.”

Rey laughed a little. “I’m sure you were an adorable little boy.”

He swallowed and looked away from her. She glanced to the bed, not really able to move away from him in the small space. “Well, I’m not sure I’ll fit there.”

“Sure, you will.” Ben lowered himself to the floor in front of her, back against the door, legs stretched out under the cot.

“What about you?” she asked. “You can’t sleep like that.”

“I’m not sleeping,” he said. “I can’t; if I go to sleep now, it’ll be for at least a day. I’ll sleep once we land.” He nodded at the cot. “Lay down.”

Rey toed off her boots, kicking them under the cot. She cautiously sat down on it, then let herself fall onto the bedding. She had to bring her knees up a bit but he was right, she did fit. She looked at Ben, who had picked up a book and was flipping through it. “Thank you,” she breathed, then closed her eyes and let herself sink into sleep.

It felt like only minutes had passed when a large, warm hand was on her shoulder, very gently shaking her awake. “Rey,” came Ben’s voice. “We just dropped out of hyperspace. We’re about to land.”

Rey winced and rubbed a hand over her face. _Stars_ , she needed a bath. She blinked her eyes open and saw Ben crouched next to the cot, face inches from hers. “How long was I out?” she mumbled.

“A few hours,” he replied. His eyes were raking over her face like it was something fascinating. After a moment of silence while she tried to wake up, he spoke in a low, urgent, almost hungry tone. “Did you know you grind your teeth in your sleep? What were you dreaming about?”

Rey frowned, unable to remember her dreams. “I-” she broke off as she felt the ship land. It broke whatever spell had come over Ben. His face rearranged to his usual sullen mask, and he stood up, stepping back so he was pressed against the door, to give her room to get out of the cot.

She sat up and stretched in a way that made several joints pop painfully. She stood and yawned. “We should probably wait until everyone else is off the ship,” she said. “Let them be distracted, so we don’t put on a show when we leave.”

Ben nodded. “I’d like avoid a brawl, if possible.” Rey moved closer and he turned to give her room. They ended up facing each other, each leaning their side against the door as they waited.

“My mother likes you,” Ben said, conversationally. Rey squinted at him, but there was only a hint of bitterness in it, like a very old wound.

“Does she?” Rey asked. “I think she’s just very grateful. I brought you back; it was more than she’d hoped for.”

He shook his head. “No; it’s not just that.”

“Did you speak with anyone else while I was asleep?”

Ben’s gaze was steady. “I was here the whole time you slept.”

“Oh…”

“Who else would I speak with?”

Rey shrugged. “Chewie?”

Ben’s face did something funny, a mix of discomfort and embarrassment. “No,” he said. “I’m sure I’ll be faced with that particular challenge eventually. But not yet.”

“Chewie’s very sweet,” Rey said in his defensive.

“Rey, I’ve known him longer than you’ve been alive,” Ben said, and there was actual amusement in his voice. It made his eyes glitter in a very appealing way. “He’s sweet. He’s also over 200 years old and a veteran of half a dozen wars. He shot me.” He huffed. “And he missed.”

“Well, he is getting a little gray,” she said, and Ben _laughed_.

Rey’s heart clenched painfully in her chest. It wasn’t a loud laugh, he wasn’t grinning from ear to ear. But his mouth had curled a little, and he had laughed. Even that small bit of mirth lit his face in a way she had never seen.

And that was how they were, standing inches from each other, leaning against the door and gazing into each other’s eyes, when the door opened.

Rey and Ben both stumbled but managed to catch themselves from falling. Poe and Finn stood there, Finn’s arms crossed, Poe leaning an arm up on the jamb of the door. They both looked like they had… ideas… about what had been happening. Finn looked stormy, but Poe looked almost amused. “Cozy,” he said, with a smirk.

“Planning on joining us anytime soon, Rey?” Finn asked.

“We were waiting for everyone else to be off the ship,” she said cautiously, and found herself instinctively taking a step sideways, closer to Ben. When she did, the wave of smug pleasure that rolled off him made her elbow him in the side. “Didn’t want to cause a scene.”

“Or that little love-nest was just so _comfortable_ ,” Poe said mockingly.

Rey felt Ben reach out for Poe’s mind and then stop himself. He instead asked out loud, “How did you know about this room?”

Poe’s eyes went to him sharply. “Leia told us. She said you’d be here. We didn’t think Rey would be with you.”

“She needed a place to sleep,” Ben said, and the gloating tone in his voice was too much for her.

“Alright, that’s enough testosterone for me,” she said. She pushed through the boys and turned, facing the three of them with her hands on her hips. “Ben, find somewhere to get some sleep. That’s not a request. I’ll deal with any questions that need answered.”

 _‘Bossy,’_ he said in her head, but nodded at her, never breaking eye contact.

“And you two, stop creeping about and acting like older brothers. I can take care of myself.” She turned away and headed off the ship to explore the new camp.

She very determinedly did not listen to whatever happened after she left.

Rey made her way through the relatively impressive base; it was a bit overgrown, but all that green was worth a little dirt. She felt her way through the camp until she found Leia, going over schematics with C-3PO and a few soldiers. “General?” Rey inquired as she got closer.

Leia looked up and gave her warm smile. “Rey – don’t worry, we’ve got time to rest. A few days at least. There’s a hot spring just over that ridge, in a copse of trees. Several of the female soldiers have gone there to bathe. You should join them. When you get back, we’ll find lodging for you.”

Rey gave her a grateful smile. “ _Thank you_ ,” she said with feeling, and hurried off, following Leia’s instructions to find the spring. True to her word, several soldiers were there, including Rose and Jessika. Rey wasted no time in stripping down with them and jumping in. The water was almost too hot, and it made all of her scrapes and burns ache, but it was so good to her sore body. Rose held out a bar of soap and Rey took it and began scrubbing off the dirt and salt and blood.

“How’re you feeling?” Rose asked.

“Better,” Rey said. “I got some sleep on the way here. How about you? You were pretty banged up.”

Rose smiled at her. “I’m alright. I think Leia might have healed me a bit. You know-” she wiggled her fingers in the air.

“I didn’t know the Force could do that,” Rey said in awe.

 _‘This is why you need a teacher,_ ’ came Ben’s voice in her head. Rey yelped and dropped the bar of soap into the hot spring.

 _‘Get out of my head!’_ Rey snapped _. ‘You’re supposed to be sleeping!’_

 _‘You’re very distracting,’_ was the dry response.

_‘Can’t you just shut me out?’_

There was silence. Then, _‘No, I can’t. I think it’s a result of what you did on Crait. I think the bond is… it’s different. Deeper. I don’t think we can shut each other out anymore, not completely.’_

Well, there was those consequences Leia had mentioned. _‘Can you… see anything?’_

Ben didn’t answer.

 _‘Close your eyes!’_ she snapped, face turning red.

 _‘It won’t matter,’_ he said. _‘I’m seeing through yours.’_

Rey’s eyes closed immediately, and when the response came, the tone was impatient. _‘Rey, you can’t bathe blind.’_

 _‘Watch me.’_ And then she shut the connection as much as she could, discovering that he was right, and it would not close completely.

 _‘I can’t help but watch you,’_ he said back, and he sounded annoyed by it. _‘Just… be aware of where you’re looking. I’m trying to sleep.’_

Rey opened her eyes again and glared at the water. She’d lost her soap but still needed to wash her hair. The other girls were busy talking and she didn’t want to expose them to Ben’s sight anyway, so instead she took a deep breath, held it, and sank under the water. She managed to find the bar of soap quickly in the clear spring and came back up to finish washing. She turned her back on the rest of the girls and hurriedly finished scrubbing. She tried not to pay attention to the bond, but she could feel Ben slowly relaxing. By the time she was climbing out of the pool and grabbing a towel off the nearby stack, he was asleep. She breathed a sigh of relief and got dressed in a borrowed jumpsuit and shirt.

Rey headed back into the camp, getting directions from C-3PO on where the mess hall was. She hurried over and grabbed a tray; they had already managed to set up a full meal with the kitchen that had lain dormant since the last war. She didn’t care how sanitary it was; she was starving. Rey loaded up on food and turning, spotted Poe and Finn at a table together. Rey grinned and headed over to them; they seemed to be in serious conversation, but all talk stopped as she approached. Her grin faded a bit. “Is something wrong?” she asked.

They exchanged a look. Then Finn said, “We’re just worried about… everyone’s safety. With him here.”

Rey sighed and sat down at the table. “He’s not going to hurt anyone,” she said, exasperated. “This isn’t the first time this has happened, you know. Luke was able to turn his father from the dark side too.”

“Yeah, and then he died,” Poe said. “He didn’t come home for dinner with the family.”

“And that’s a _tragedy_ ,” Rey insisted. “His children should have been able to know him as a father; he died protecting them. And Leia deserves to be a mother again.”

Poe heaved a sigh; she knew she had hit his soft spot. He worshipped Leia. “You’re right,” he said. “I know you’re right. I just don’t like it. There was always something off about him, even when we were kids.”

Finn leaned forward. “You knew Kylo Ren when he was a kid?”

“No,” Poe said. “I knew Ben Solo when he was kid. By the time he was calling himself Kylo Ren, I hadn’t seen him in years.”

“What was he like?” Rey asked, digging into her meal.

Poe shrugged. “Serious. Solitary. He manifested the Force at a really young age. Like, infanthood. He had trouble playing with other kids because his parents and nannies were always hammering into him that he could hurt people.”

“And did he?” Finn asked.

“Not… really?” Poe said slowly. “I mean, sometimes other kids tried to bully him, but usually he just sort of – pushed them away with the Force. And in the year or so before he was sent to Luke, he’d shot up to about the height he is now. No one messed with him then.”

“How well did you know him?” Rey asked around a mouthful.

“Not very. We weren’t friends exactly; I don’t think he liked me very much. I was around him more than most other kids because my mom was Leia’s pilot; they spent a lot of time together, so Ben and I did as well.”

“And what did you think of him?” she prodded.

Poe thought about this for a moment. “I was scared of him,” he admitted. “A little. The way he looks at you – like he can read your mind. Of course, I didn’t know then that he actually could. Or would learn to, eventually. But I was fascinated by the things he could do. A few times I managed to convince him to use the Force for fun; playing with toy spaceships or even pranking the nanny.”

Rey smiled fondly, picturing the tiny Ben Solo, big-eared and sullen, dropping a bucket of water on a stern nanny’s head. “I bet you were a cute kid,” she said to Poe.

Poe grinned. “I’m a cute adult,” he said, and Rey rolled her eyes.

“Yes, we’re all very attractive,” Finn said impatiently. “When did he go crazy?”

Poe’s smile faded. “I don’t know,” he said. “As we got older, he just – withdrew. I saw him less and less because even if I was at his house, he was in his room and wouldn’t let me in. And Leia stopped bringing him to my house when she came to see my mother. He went off with his dad for a while, and then the next thing I heard, he was being sent to train with Luke Skywalker. And then-” Poe shrugged. “Boom. Kylo Ren.”

They all sat silently, save for Rey’s chewing and scraping of her fork, as they considered this. Then Finn said, “So he never had any friends?”

Poe shook his head. “Not that I know of.”

“Girlfriends?” Finn prodded. “Boyfriends?”

Poe shook his head again. “I don’t think boys were his thing,” he said. “I tried to get him to dance with me at one of his mom’s political parties, and he got annoyed at me. Of course, I have no idea if girls were his thing either. He never dated anyone that I knew of.”

Finn narrowed his eyes at Poe while Rey tried to picture Poe and Ben dancing together without laughing at the height difference. “You tried to _dance_ with him?” Finn’s voice was accusing.

Poe raised his hands in surrender, laughing a little. “Hey, we were like thirteen!” he said. “I would have danced with a mop if it was cute enough.” He leaned in towards Finn. “Of course, I’m much more particular about my dance partners now,” he said with a smirk.

Finn’s eyes went a little wide and he looked at Rey for assistance. Rey beamed at him and did nothing to help. “I uh…” Finn cleared his throat. “You know, we should ask Rey how she’s doing, how are you doing, Rey?”

Rey laughed. “Oh, I’m thoroughly entertained,” she said. “You two are-” Rey stopped speaking. She went absolutely still, her fork clattering from her frozen hand onto the tray. Then the world went white.

Rey toppled back off the cafeteria bench and onto the ground. She could hear, as if through water, the sounds of people shouting and worried voices asking if she was okay. Her head was splitting in two and she was seeing things, seeing visions of pain and blood and darkness and she could feel Ben all through it. Her body convulsed and she thought she might be throwing up.

She felt a cool hand on her forehead and Leia’s voice came through strong and clear. _‘Sleep,’_ it said, and Rey obeyed.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'll be updating the tags as I go; there will be smut eventually but there will also likely be discussion of traumatic stuff. we're not there yet, but we're getting there


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The bond is both a help and a hindrance, and Rey and Ben come to an understanding

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> thanks for sticking with me on this; I never write chaptered fic like this so it's a new experience for me
> 
> TW CW
> 
> we're gonna start digging into what's happening in Ben's head and it's not pretty

Rey came to awareness slowly; she could hear voices around her, muted but intelligible. “-nearly 48 hours,” one voice was saying.

“It’s a healing trance,” the other voice said, female and low. “Ben entered his by choice; I had to force this one onto Rey.”

“What happened?”

Rey tried to move, and she must have succeeded in at least making a noise, because the hand on her forehead was back. _‘Sleep,’_ the voice said again, and she could not help but obey.

When Rey awoke the second time, she could feel her body like she hadn’t been able to before. She felt… rested. Refreshed. But also sensitive, over-exposed. Like a freshly healed wound. Rey opened her eyes and tried to sit up.

“Woah, woah,” came Rose’s voice. Rey felt hands on her shoulders, not pushing her back down but helping her sit up more slowly. Once Rey was upright, she looked around. She had assumed she’d be in a medical facility but was in what looked to be a private room in the barracks.

“How long was I out?” Rey asked, and her voice was like sand.

Rose held out a glass of water with a straw and Rey drank greedily. “Three and a half days,” she said. “How do you feel?”

Rey released the straw and took a few deep breaths. “Fine,” she said. “Good, even.”

Rose nodded. “Leia said you would. I should go get her, she wanted to talk to you.” Rose stood, but Rey reached out and clasped her wrist.

“Ben…?”

Rose hesitated. “He’s okay,” she said finally. “Not that any of us have really seen him. I think he’s hiding out somewhere on the base. Let me get Leia.” Rey released her arm and Rose left the room, shutting her door behind her.

_‘Ben?’_ Rey reached out. She could feel him there, but he did not answer. When she poked at the bond, he reacted with anger, lashing out in a way that made her wince. He retreated and she let him go. Something simmered under his anger, something like guilt and shame. She didn’t have time to examine it. Leia entered the room then, looking herself more rested. She brought with her a tray of food that Rey fell upon with unseemly glee.

Leia sat down in the chair Rose had vacated. “I’m glad you’re feeling better. I should probably explain what happened.”

“Please,” Rey said around a bite of sandwich.

“As you and I discussed, Ben had been using the Force to sustain himself,” Leia said. “It’s something that powerful Force users can do, and in a pinch, it can keep you alive when conditions aren’t safe. I did this recently, just for a few minutes, when the ship was hit, and I found myself in the vacuum of space. It’s not meant as a way to live; it’s meant as a way to survive.” She hesitated. “Ben has been doing it since he met you.”

Rey stopped, fork hallway to her mouth. “Why?” she asked.

Leia shrugged. “He was singularly focused on finding the map and then finding you. He went without food and water and sleep so that he could devote more energy to his mission. When he went to sleep here, he put himself in a healing trance to recover. And then he began to have nightmares.”

Rey thought back to the visions she’d seen, fields of blood, the screams of the dying. “And then I had them too,” she said.

Leia nodded. “It doesn’t help that you were half-starved when you got to us,” she said. “And you had been doing the same thing, unconsciously, for at least a few days. In his sleep, he couldn’t control the bond, couldn’t block you from his dreams. So instead they were shoved right into your head. And… and my son has seen and done some horrific things. I was forced to put you in a healing trance for your own safety.”

Rey took a deep breath, reaching for Ben again and coming back with nothing. “What do we do?”

Leia shrugged, a little helpless. “There aren’t many records of Force Bonds, but I do know this has happened before. There’s an old love story of the Jedi Bastila and Darth Revan, who turned from the dark side to be with his lover after a Force Bond was forged between them.” Rey felt her cheeks go red and Leia chuckled. “Not that I’m implying anything about you and Ben,” she said, with a twinkle in her eye. Then she sobered. “You’re going to have to explore this bond between you,” she said. “And while I trained for a long time with my brother, I gave up my training. For many reasons. You need a teacher, and I think it should be Ben.”

Rey bit her lip. “He’s shutting me out right now,” she admitted. “Not fully; after what I did on Crait, we can’t close it completely. But I think he’s angry with me.”

“Not with you,” Leia said soothingly. “With himself. He hurt you and he’s angry with himself for doing it.”

“But it’s not his fault,” Rey protested, and Leia raised a hand.

“Fault plays no part in this,” she said. “His dreams hurt you and he is ashamed of his weakness. He’s never been a particularly logical boy.”

Rey’s mouth twisted wryly. “Can I see him?”

Leia shrugged. “If you can find him.” She stood and patted Rey on the shoulder. “The First Order is scrambling; word is, there’s more of a power struggle happening than we’d anticipated. It’s more than we could have hoped for. Time is on our side now. Go find Ben and begin your training.”

Rey nodded. “I will; thank you.” Leia left and Rey finished her food then stood and took in the room. Her things, what few she had, were there, so she assumed it must be her room. She found a ‘fresher attached to the small dorm and used the ion shower to freshen up. She changed out of the borrowed jumpsuit and into a clean outfit of her own, then headed out of the barracks and back into the base at large.

Once outside, Rey closed her eyes and reached out with the Force. Ben wasn’t responding but she could feel him. She followed that feeling slowly through the camp and then past its borders, into the forest. Half a mile from the edge of camp she stopped. Ben were here, she was sure of it. She stared around the trees and saw nothing. But he was here. She made a sound of frustration then looked down and toed at the roots of the massive tree she was under. Was there a trapdoor?

An exasperated sigh blew through her mind. _‘Look up, scavenger.’_

Rey looked up and saw some kind of… hide? A lookout? It was a small wooden building high up in the tree, with a railed deck that ran all around it. _‘What is it?’_

_‘It’s a watchtower for fires,’_ Ben replied. _‘A fire can destroy an army as easily as a starship.’_

_‘How do I get up there?’_ she asked, moving around the base of the tree to find a ladder or something.

_‘You don’t,’_ was his sour reply. _‘Go away.’_

Rey put her hands on her hips and looked up at the treehouse. _‘Ben Solo, you either let me up there or you get down here this instant. We don’t have time for this; we need to work on this Bond we have, and I need your help.’_

He was quiet in her head. Then, with the sound of rusted metal, she watched a basket be swung out from the desk of the treehouse and begin lowering down to her. Once it touched down, Rey got into it, clinging to the side with a gasp as it began to raise again. Her eyes widened as she rose high, high above the trees. She could see for miles above the canopy and when it came to a stop, she turned and saw Ben standing at an old pulley, a rope in his hands. He tied the rope to the railing to keep the basket in place, then turned and walked back into the little house.

Rey stayed out on the balcony for a moment, staring out at the tops of the trees. The sun was setting, and the wind was warm and smelled like green. She heard the scrape of chair legs and turned, heading into the building. It was a one-room home, with a small kitchen in one corner and a bed in another. All around were low shelves of books, low because each wall’s upper half were windows.

Ben was sitting in a chair, leaned back on its back legs, his feet on the tiny kitchen table, reading a book and ignoring her. She moved further in. “Ben?” He didn’t answer. She sighed. “Please don’t do this; just talk to me. What’s wrong?”

He snapped the book shut and looked at her, eyes hard and shining. “I nearly killed you,” he said, barely contained emotion choking his voice. He slammed the book on the table and the chair legs back to the floor and stood. His head nearly touched the roof of the cabin. “I went to sleep, and I nearly killed you. This bond is dangerous; I want to be rid of it.”

Rey was surprised at how much hearing that hurt. And judging from the way Ben’s eyes flickered over her, he was surprised too. “Well, I don’t,” she said, swallowing the hurt. “Because it allowed me to bring you back.”

He scoffed. “Bring me back? You think you turned me? That I left the First Order for _you_?”

Rey stood tall and met his eyes. “Are you saying you didn’t?”

He glared at her, jaw working as if to speak, but he turned away and said nothing. Rey took a deep breath. “Ben,” she said gently. “I need your help.”

“With what?” His words were sharp and bitter.

“I need a teacher.”

She felt the effect that had on him. He turned back to her again, looking so painfully hopeful, and she could feel it through the bond as well. Hope and an aching sense of need. She took a step towards him. “Leia said bonds like ours are rare but have happened before. We need to work together to keep it from killing us. And to do that, I need training in the Force. I need to be able to control myself. You – you were right. I could hurt someone. I could hurt you, without training.”

“Leia told you to do this?” he asked, voice hushed.

She nodded. “She told me it should be you.” He was quiet for a long time. “Will you teach me?” she prodded.

“You know I will,” he snapped. Then he shook his head, sighing. “I – I mean, yes. Of course, I will.”

Rey laughed a little. “I can’t tell if you’re pleased with the idea.”

His eyes roamed over her again, a sweep down her body and back up. “Neither can I,” he said dryly.

“Well, we can start now-”

“No,” he said, waving a hand. “We can start in the morning.” He sat back down in his chair, picking up his book.

“Is this where you plan to stay while we’re here?” she asked.

“Where else would I stay?” he replied, eyes on the pages. “In the barracks, feared and hated? Expecting a knife in the throat while I sleep? On my dead father’s ship while his best friend has to be reminded of what I did every moment?”

Rey winced. “It’s… it’s got a nice view,” she said helpfully.

“I hadn’t noticed,” he said, and it was such a blatant lie that she got fed up and pushed her way through the crack in their bond, into his mind.

Ben flinched and she tried gently to probe around the edges of what was bothering him, like feeling a wound for infection. “Stop,” he gritted out.

Rey backed off, a little guiltily. She hadn’t gotten much, just some surface anger and fear and shame. “Fine,” she said. “Fine. In the morning. Meet me in the camp and we can begin.” Rey turned and headed back out onto the balcony. She untied the basket then stared at it a little, unsure if she could lower herself down alone. Physics said she could, but it was so high…

Ben’s hands closed over hers on the rope. She gasped and released it as if she’d been burned. “Go on,” he said, nodding to the basket. “I’ve got you.”

Rey got into the basket and held tight as Ben began lowering it. She watched until he disappeared over the edge of the balcony. When the basket touched down, she sat in it a moment longer before heading back towards camp, leaving Ben to his lonely vigil in the trees.

She hadn’t thought she’d be able to sleep that night after what had happened but was out by the time her head hit the pillow. Either Ben didn’t sleep, or he didn’t dream, because she slept through the night and was up at dawn, grabbing a cup of caf before heading out into the main hub of the camp to wait.

Ben arrived not long after, trudging up with his big boots. His clothes were different though, brown trousers and a gray shirt. She wondered where he’d gotten them; he was bigger than most of the men in camp. “Good morning,” she said, and help out a second mug of caf to him.

Ben took it and sat down next to her where she perched on a fallen log. “It’s definitely morning,” he said.

“Did you sleep last night?” she asked.

“Yes,” he said, and she was surprised to find he was telling the truth.

“And you didn’t… dream?”

He gave her a sideways look. “I can control that sort of thing when I’m not unconscious,” he said. “I meditated before sleeping.”

“And that prevents dreams?” she asked, thinking about her own rotating crew of nightmares.

“It can.”

“Should we start there?” she asked.

“Meditation?” Ben said. “It’s as good a place as any.” He turned to her, straddling the log now. She copied him, and they faced each other, steaming mugs in hand. “When do you feel most… centered?” he asked her. “Not everyone meditates well by sitting and breathing.”

Rey thought about that. “Walking,” she said. “I lived away from the outpost on Jakku and I had to walk miles. Flying? Fixing things?”

“Fixing things is a safe place to start.” He glanced around “I’m sure this place has a decommissioned droid or something we can work on. Come on.” He stood and she followed him, heading for what she thought might be an old storage building or armory.

“How do you meditate?” she asked as they ducked inside.

“Fighting,” he said. Then he pointed at a small droid, likely meant for cleaning or maintenance. “Grab that one and let’s find some tools.”

Rey picked the little guy up and followed Ben back out, towards the old landing pad. The droid was small, gray and green, with two treaded feet like a tank, a square body, and a nozzle for a head. Rey was busy poking at the disabled droid, wondering what the nozzle was for, when she heard a sharp, “Hey!”

She had come to a stop behind Ben, who now stood in front of a large cabinet of tools, likely meant for repair of fighters that landed on the landing pad. She watched Ben’s hands tighten on the doors of the cabinet before relaxing and continuing to rummage through it. He’d found a basket and was dropping tools into it. “Hey!” the shout came again, and this time a man Rey didn’t recognize came jogging up to them. “What the hell are you doing?” the man asked, glaring at Ben.

_‘Brave, isn’t he?’_ Ben said in her head, and Rey snorted before she could help herself.

The man turned his glare on Rey, who sobered. “Miss… Jedi,” he said, awkwardly enough that she felt bad for him.

“Rey,” she said.

“Miss Rey,” the man acknowledged. “Can I ask what you’re doing? A lot of folks are uncomfortable with Kylo Ren walking around-”

“His name is Ben,” Rey said, and the man heard the edge in her tone and straightened. “And if you have a problem, I suggest you take it up with General Organa. Unless you’d like to try arresting him yourself?”

Ben stopped halfway to setting a wrench in the box and half turned, not quite looking at the man. She could feel Ben’s exhaustion at the idea of having to fight someone. He didn’t want to do it, but he would if he had to.

The man sighed. “Yes, ma’am,” he said, and turned away, likely to run to Leia to make sure she knew her son was out and about.

Rey watched him go warily. “Are we done yet?”

Ben stepped back and closed the cabinet. “Yeah; let’s go.”

Ben led her back out of the camp and to the bank of a stream. He sat on a log and motioned for her to set down the droid, depositing the basket of tools beside it. Rey sat crossed legged on the ground and waited.

“The Jedi will tell you that meditation is a spiritual exercise,” he said, a twist of disdain in his voice. “And for them, it is. But from a practical standpoint, meditation helps you center yourself; it helps you fight strong emotions that could otherwise overwhelm you and helps you keep your head in stressful situations. So, get into the most comfortable position you can and start working on the droid. As you work, do your best to empty your mind of all other thoughts; focus only on the work one step at a time. Only on what your hands are doing in that moment, what tool you need.”

Rey nodded, then shifted around in the dirt. She tried one or two positions before finding that lying on her back, inspecting the droid upside down, was the most comfortable. The direction meant nothing when it came to the actual work, so she laid down and did as she was told.

At first, she found herself listening to Ben’s breathing, to the sound of the water lapping against the bank of the river, to the wind in the leaves above. But as she fell deeper into her work, the world just… fell away. All she saw was circuits and tools, and her mind was clear and calm and empty.

A shadow fell over her and she squinted in the sudden darkness at her work. “You’re in my light,” she mumbled.

“Rey,” Ben said, voice coming from far away. “It’s been three hours.”

Rey blinked as the words sank in. “What?” she lowered her arms from their position, realizing they ached from having been held up for so long. Ben was sitting next to her on the ground now, leaning over her with one hand on the other side of her torso. “What?” she said again.

“It’s been three hours,” Ben repeated, sound a little amused. “I think you’ve got meditation down. Did you hear any of my thoughts while you did that?”

She considered this. “No,” she said slowly. “I heard little things around me at first but then nothing. Just the work.”

He nodded. “Good; we may be able to work on shutting each other out, to prevent distraction.”

Rey rubbed at her eyes and stared up at him. His dark hair hung around his face and without his usual scowl… he really was handsome. She felt a wave of pleased smugness from him and saw the barest hint of a smile on his face. “Ugh,” she said, pushing him away so she could sit up. “Now what? Shouldn’t you meditate to see if you can shut me out?”

“Probably.”

“Didn’t you say you mediate through fighting? Do you want to spar?”

He eyed her. “Not with you.”

Rey felt a little annoyed at that. “What? Why not?”

“We’re trying to avoid distraction,” he said, a little snippily. “We’ve fought each other before. I don’t want to think about that when I’m sparring.”

It was a pretty good reason, even she was still a little put-out. “Fine,” she said with a sigh. “Find someone to spar with. I’m going to take this little guy back. Next lesson tomorrow?”

He nodded. “Meet me here at dawn,” he said. He stood and brushed dirt off his trousers. “And you should do this every day; try to set a timer and keep it to maybe half an hour or so. Meditation should become as instinctive as breathing. Even if you have to start breaking things just to fix them again.”

They parted ways and Rey tried to recapture that feeling of quiet in her head, to see if it shut him out. She thought it was working but it was hard to tell without him actively trying to see inside her head.

In bed that night, Rey was just starting to drift off when she felt it again; that white-hot pain in her head. This time, she fought with it, struggling against it until her meditation practice came back to her and she was able to shut him out. Slowly, slowly, she regained control of her own senses. Eventually, she lay shivering on her cot in her room, covered in a cold sweat and breathing heavily. After a moment, she got up and headed out of the base, towards Ben’s nest in the trees.

She could hear him as she drew close. He was whimpering in his sleep, and the sound made her heart ache. The closer she got, the harder it was to shut out the dreams. She got flashes of battlefields, bloody hands that looked achingly familiar, the feel of scrubbing until the skin was raw and still seeing blood everywhere.

Rey called on the Force to help her raise the basket silently, then crept into the cabin. Ben was on his side in bed, huddled into a fetal position, trembling and sweating. Rey sat down on the side of the bed and put a hand on his shoulder. His eyes flashed open, wild and unseeing. Then he shoved himself off the bed and heaved onto the floor, vomiting up whatever rations he had eaten that day. Rey drew her feet on the bed quickly to get out of the way, then pressed a hand to his back. “Shhh,” she murmured, not sure exactly how to help. “It’s alright, Ben. I’m here.”

Ben’s whole body shook like it was coming apart. When the heaving stopped, he settled back against the bed, sitting on the floor. A little cleaning droid came whirring out of its place in a wall socket, clunky and old, and began cleaning the floor. Rey stroked a hand over his hair and leaned back into her for a moment before hauling himself to his feet suddenly. “You should go,” he said, voice rough. He stumbled over to the sink and began to wash his mouth out, splashing water on his face.

“You were having a-”

“I know!” He made a frustrated sound and then ducked his head under the faucet completely. He came up sputtering, and wrenched his shirt off, tossing it aside and grabbed a towel to wipe off his face. He was pale and sweaty, and she could see fine tremors still running through him. Ben leaned against the sink, towel slung over his shoulders. He sighed heavily sounding painfully, desperately tired. “I’m sorry,” he said. She could feel waves of shame rolling off him but wasn’t sure what he was ashamed of.

“It’s alright,” she said gently. “I just wanted to make sure you were okay.”

“Did I hurt you again?” he asked.

Rey shook her head. “No; it started like before, but I meditated, and I was able to control it.”

He nodded and she could see the muscle in his jaw twitching even in the low light. When he didn’t speak for a long time, Rey said quietly, “Tell me about your dreams.”

“No,” his voice was hard. “You’re in my head enough as it is; you don’t need to know everything.”

That stung, mostly because he was right. He deserved privacy. “Talking about it might help.”

He shook his head. “Maybe; but not to you.”

“What’s wrong with me?” she mumbled, a little hurt by this. It was the same thing he’d said when she suggested sparring. When she saw his jaw clench again, she sighed. “I’m sorry,” she said, getting off the bed. “I know, I know it’s not about me.”

She moved closer to him and he looked down at her, eyes sad. “It’s not,” he confirmed, voice soft. “If I thought it would help… but it won’t. I need you to-”

“To what?” she prompted.

Ben was silent and she watched his eyes take in her face, her mouth, her gaze. Then his own expression settled, serious and in control. “I’ll see you at dawn for training.”

Rey wanted to protest but she knew it wouldn’t be good for either of them. She just hated seeing him like that; her mental image of Ben Solo was strong and tall, towering over everything. Watching him shake and heave on the floor scared her. But she didn’t say anything. Instead, she patted his arm and headed back down to the ground, back to her own bed.

She lay awake for another hour at least, and she was pretty sure he never made it back to bed.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i don't respond to all of them but i'm very grateful for all of the comments i've been getting; i honestly didn't think anyone would want to take this ride with me. i just really love ben and rey you guys


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> An old legend arrives and plans are made. The Resistance has a chance, and Ben and Rey sink deeper into their Bond - for good or ill.

Things remained like that for a couple of days. The Resistance worked on getting word about the First Order’s actions; they were worryingly silent. Rey and Ben trained together, though never sparring. They didn’t have another nightmare issue, though Rey suspected Ben was drugging himself into a dreamless sleep. When he drifted off, he felt cloudy and distant. It worried her.

On the fourth day of their training, Rey awoke to a feeling in the back of her mind. A persistent, nagging itch. It was like when a sand fly had gotten into her little home back on Jakku and wouldn’t stop buzzing around her head. She could never manage to swat it. She was twitchy all through breakfast and by the time she met Ben at the stream, she was ready to tear her hair out. “Do you hear that?” she demanded, storming up to him.

He sat on the log, fiddling with something. “Yeah,” he said.

The response was like a bucket of water on her temper. “You do?”

He turned and looked at her, shoving whatever he was working on into his pocket. “Yeah?” he said, sounding surprised.

“What _is_ it?” she asked with feeling, sitting down on the log with him. “It’s driving me crazy.”

“Something’s coming,” he said, casually, as if there was nothing to worry about.

“What’s coming?” she asked warily.

He shrugged. “Something that causes ripples in the Force. Could be a lot of things. It doesn’t feel dangerous though, just… aggravating.”

She sighed. “It makes my teeth ache.”

“Let’s just get back to training,” he said. “We can’t do anything about it right now.”

“Since when did you get all wise, Ben Solo?” she muttered.

“It’s not wisdom,” he said with a smirk. “It’s ruthless practicality.”

Ben had Rey run a course through the trees, blindfolded, feeling her way with only the Force and his instructions in her head. It was exhilarating and she loved it. She couldn’t see but she felt completely safe, dodging branches and hopping over roots. Finally, she made her way back to him where he stood under his treehouse.

“Not bad,” he said as she approached. She tugged off the blindfold and grinned up at him, a little breathless. She watched his eyes darken a little, the way they took her in, always looking so… hungry. Then she watched as his expression darkened further, this time becoming stormy, then angry, then a little manic. Watching the shift made her heart clench in fear.

“Ben?” she whispered.

“That son of a bitch,” he hissed, and turned away from her, striding towards camp.

“Ben, what-?” Rey hurried to follow, having trouble keeping up with his much longer stride. She couldn’t imagine what had upset him so much. Who was he talking about? Had she done something wrong? Then, she nearly tripped over a tree root as it hit her.

She could hear the engines of a very old fighter coming down to the landing pad. She could sense a familiar, powerful, persistent presence in the force.

_Luke._

Rey hurried to catch up to Ben now, desperate to stop whatever confrontation was about to happen. “Ben, don’t!” she called out after him. “Stop!”

She wasn’t going to catch up to him. He was running now, long legs taking him further from her. _‘Leia!’_ she called out desperately. _‘Please!’_

 _‘It’s alright,’_ was Leia’s calm reply. _‘Whatever happens, happens.’_

Rey hit the edge of camp and saw Luke getting out of an old junkheap of a fighter. Leia and Chewie were waiting for him. Luke held a hand out towards Leia to keep her from coming closer and turned to face Ben, who had almost reached him. “Ben!” Rey yelled, fear making her heart clench. She had no idea which of them would win in a fight and either result terrified her.

Luke looked past the approaching Ben to meet Rey’s eyes. And then Ben reached him and punched him squarely in the face. Luke stumbled back, ending up on the ground but clearly still conscious and not even bleeding. Ben had almost certainly held back.

Rey’s steps slowed as she realized Ben wasn’t going to actually fight Luke, not in a way that mattered. By the time she got to the landing pad, a stitch in her side, panting heavily, Luke was still on the ground, looking up at Ben with an almost amused look on his face. Ben stood above him, hands curled into fists, shaking with the effort of controlling himself. She could just barely get a glimpse in his head and the amount of control he was exerting scared her. Was he always like this? Simmering with rage under the surface, one step away from exploding?

Leia came to Rey’s side, putting a hand on her shoulder. Chewie stepped up to haul Luke to his feet. “I’ll admit,” Luke said, “that’s a much kinder welcome than I was expecting.”

Ben seemed beyond words. He stared at him for a long, tense moment, hands clenched so tight Rey feared he would break his own fingers. Then he turned away, kicking over a case of tools sitting on the edge of the landing pad, letting out a frustrated yell. Ben walked over to Rey, and she reached out for him, taking hold of his arm to keep him from leaving. Leia moved to speak with Luke.

“Are you alright?” Rey whispered.

Ben rolled his eyes. “I’m wonderful,” he said flatly.

“You did really well,” she said, fingers still clutching his arm.

He stared at her, looking surprised and maybe confused. “I did?”

Rey nodded. “Yes. I’m proud of you.”

“Rey, I punched him in the face.” He sounded pleased by her praise, despite his words.

“Sometimes,” came Leia’s voice, “a punch in the face is needed.”

Ben winced and turned around to face his mother. “I suppose you want me to apologize,” he said, and Rey could see the war between the galactically feared Kylo Ren and the boy standing in front of his mother, waiting to be chastised.

“No,” Leia said kindly. “A public apology for a public black eye isn’t on the agenda for today.” At that, Rey looked around and realized they had gathered quite the audience. “We should talk, in my office. Come on.” Leia motioned at Ben and turned to lead her family away.

Rey reluctantly let go of Ben’s arm. “Good luck,” she said.

He looked down at her and opened his mouth to say something. He closed it, then opened it again to say, “Thanks.” It wasn’t what he was going to say originally, but she let it go. Ben turned and followed his mother and uncle, Chewie following behind.

Rey took a deep breath and let it out slowly. “You alright?” came Finn’s voice. She turned to see him and Poe coming up the ramp to her. She nodded. “Yeah, I’m fine. It went about as well I expected. I’m a little surprised no one shot him.”

Finn rolled his eyes. He jerked his thumb at Poe. “This guy spent so long telling the story of Kylo Ren stopping a blaster bolt in the air that everyone’s convinced he’s basically immune to being shot.”

Poe shrugged. “I like that story. We’re all very heroic in it.”

“C’mon,” Finn said. “I’ll get you some water or something.” He led her down the ramp and set her down against a wall of a storage building, out of the sight of the more curious Resistance members. He pressed a cup of water into her hands. “Do you need anything?”

Rey shook her head. “No; thank you.” She squeezed his hand then let him go to rejoin Poe. Then she was alone.

Rey thought about trying to reach out to Ben, but he was with his family. She swallowed against the lump in her throat. His _family_. Ben had a family; even if it was broken and hanging by a thread, it was still there, and it was still his. Ben’s training had brought her a belonging she hadn’t felt since she’d found herself on Han Solo’s ship with him and Chewie and Finn. People who seemed to give a damn about her. But whatever was being discussed in Leia’s office was none of her business. They weren’t her family. Ben wasn’t her family.

Rey sipped the water, trying to push down the ugly feelings of envy. It was selfish of her; she always did this with him. It wasn’t about her.

Her eyes snapped open at the feel of Ben in her mind. A tentative outreach. _‘Ben?’_ He didn’t reply, but it was like something in her head relaxed, and the Bond _opened_.

Rey gasped. She could see Leia’s office; a tray of caf was being placed on her desk, cups poured and passed around. _‘Ben,’_ she asked again, her inner voice hushed in reverence. _‘Are you sure you want me to hear this?’_

When his reply came, it was choked with emotion. _‘I don’t want to be alone in my head right now.’_

 _‘I’m here,’_ she replied right away.

_‘Besides, we’re a package deal now.’_

Rey gave a watery laugh. _‘A very lopsided package.’_

_‘I’m not as tall as you think I am. The image of me in your head is almost comical.’_

_‘You’re a tree, Ben Solo. Now pay attention to your mother.’_

She could feel Ben wanting to roll his eyes at her, but he took the cup of caf handed to him and leaned against the wall in the corner, waiting. Rey closed her eyes and gave herself completely to Ben’s senses.

“So,” Leia said calmly. “Now that we’re all here-”

_Crack._

Rey pressed a hand to her mouth as Leia slapped Luke across the face. Ben’s eyes went a little wide and affection for his mother surged in his mind and for the first time, he didn’t try to hide a positive emotion from Rey.

Luke didn’t seem surprised. Indeed, he took hold of the hand that had just slapped him, and he pressed a kiss to Leia’s hand. “I missed you too, sis,” he said dryly.

Leia clutched at his hand with both of hers. “Han-”

“I know,” Luke said softly. “Rey told me.”

Ben’s hands began to shake. _‘It’s alright,’_ Rey whispered to him. _‘I’m right here.’_ He clenched the mug harder.

Luke’s eyes turned to Ben. “Hello Ben,” he said. His eyes narrowed just slightly. “And hello Rey.”

Rey recoiled at his piercing gaze, and she felt a soothing wave of reassurance from Ben. “She’s not possessing me,” Ben said flatly.

“No, but she’s there,” Luke said. “Right behind your eyes.”

“She was invited,” Ben said firmly.

“After everything we’ve dragged that girl through,” Leia said, “she can eavesdrop as much as she wants.”

Luke motioned at Ben. “When did this happen? And which of you did it?”

“Crait,” Ben said. “And Rey did it.”

Luke nodded. “I’m not surprised. She’s reckless.”

“Yes, she is.” Ben’s voice was warm and fond, and Rey felt it down to her toes, like sinking into the hot springs.

Luke glanced at Leia. “He is, indeed, his father’s son.”

The mug of caf slipped from Ben’s fingers and shattered on the floor. He clenched his hands together. “Luke,” Leia said admonishingly. Rey tried to send Ben the same feeling he’d just given her, and it seemed to make his hands shake less.

Luke heaved a sigh. “I’m sorry, Ben,” he said. “About a lot of things. And I’m not here to fight old battles or cause you more pain. I’m here to help, because a tiny, reckless young woman told me I was being a coward.”

 _‘I never said that,’_ Rey said. “She never said that,” Ben said out loud.

Luke gave a crooked smile. “No, but she was thinking it.”

 _‘I was,’_ Rey admitted.

Ben’s mind went a little blank in a way she associated with violence. But before she could think of how to avoid that, he said out loud, “We can’t keep tiptoeing around this. I killed him. I killed my – Han Solo, and we can’t pretend that I didn’t.”

The room was deathly silent. Then, Chewie trilled out a heartbreakingly soft, “Why?”

If it had been either of the Skywalker twins, Rey didn’t think it would have pierced through Ben’s defenses. But this was his father’s best friend. She caught a few flashes of a tiny, dark haired child on Chewie’s shoulders. Rey felt Ben’s face crumple and he sank to the floor, head in his arms. It was like on the battlefield of Crait but Rey couldn’t be with him. _‘I’m here, I’m here, I’m here,’_ she crooned in his head, and she could feel him clinging desperately to it.

Leia’s arms came around Ben’s shoulders. “I love you,” she murmured to him, over and over, in the same tone as Rey’s own mantra. “I love you, I love you.”

Luke didn’t approach, but Chewie did after a bit. He knelt down as well, patting Ben’s shoulder, petting his hair. Rey waited them out, silent tears rolling down her cheeks as she kept up her constant reassurance, _‘I’m here. I’m here. I’m here.’_

As Ben’s sobs subsided, Leia sat back, giving him some space. She took out a handkerchief and wiped his face, holding his chin. Ben swallowed hard and finally spoke. “There will need to be a trial.”

 _‘What?!’_ Rey’s heart seized.

Luke and Leia glanced at each other. “A trial?” Luke asked, voice neutral.

“I murdered my father,” Ben said, voice breaking. “I can’t get away with that. I _can’t_.”

“Look at yourself, Ben,” Leia said gently. “Does this feel like getting away with it?”

Ben met her eyes. “It feels like drowning,” he said, still fighting back sobs. “Like I can’t breathe. Like I’m choking, every moment.”

“And you think we can punish you more severely than that?” Luke asked.

Ben looked at him. “You can kill me.”

 _‘No!’_ Rey screamed at him, and he flinched.

“Now _that_ would be getting away with it,” Luke said. Ben stared at him, uncomprehending. “Ben, you’re dealing with the consequences of what you’ve done. Right now. And you’ll do it the rest of your life. If you shorten that life unnaturally, you’re just escaping. Don’t die for your sins. Live to atone for them.”

 _‘Yes,’_ Rey agreed fiercely. _‘Don’t you dare leave now, Ben Solo. We still have work to do.’_

Ben took a shaking breath and blew it out slowly. “The rest of the Resistance will want justice for his death,” he said.

“Maybe,” Luke said. “But I think offering your vast wealth of knowledge on the inner workings on the First Order, training our newest warrior, and helping us defeat the First Order will assuage them somewhat. If we survive this-” Luke spread his hands out. “Exile isn’t so bad. You can retire to some Outer Rim world with your conscience, if not clear, then at least a little less of a burden.”

Exile. Ben found the idea comforting. Rey saw him picturing himself on some far-flung world. A solitary life; a little house by a lake... As recognition dawned in her, he shoved that image away. Ben nodded. “Okay,” he said. “Okay. But we don’t have a plan.”

“That’s one of the reasons I’m here,” Luke said. Leia and Chewie helped Ben to his feet. “There’s been a schism in the First Order,” Luke continued. “I was able to gather some information before I got here. It seems a General Hux is butting heads with a General Pryde. Hux will win, most likely. He has far more support, though I hear the two are equally fanatical-”

“No,” Ben said. “Hux believes because he wants power. Pryde just _believes_. But I do think Hux will win. He’s more of a coward and he makes much better speeches. He’ll be able to get more people on his side. Pryde will demand sacrifice while Hux will make promises. Promises will win him more support.”

Luke nodded. “Do you think we should let them fight this out?”

Ben shook his head. “We need someone on the inside,” he said, a little desperately. “I need more information. I need to know what’s happening.”

“I think that can be arranged,” Leia said. “We were recently contacted by a handful of Stormtroopers who, like Finn, want to leave the First Order. We’re going to help get them out but first, we’re going to look for volunteers to serve as spies on the inside. If even one of them agrees, then I can get you the information you need.”

Ben nodded. “Once I know more about the situation, we can decide how to proceed. I want to say that we should just let them kill each other, but Hux doesn’t waste resources. He won’t kill any of them if he can help it, he’ll have them reeducated, making his army even stronger.”

“I’m going to assign Finn to lead any defectors we find,” Leia said. “Poe is going to work on rebuilding our military strength. Luke, I want you working with whatever spies we can manage to recruit. Ben-”

“I have to keep training Rey,” he said. “She’s important. And… she’s the only one here who would work with me, anyway.”

“I think you might be surprised,” Leia said. “But regardless, training Rey should remain your top priority. When you’re not training, I want schematics, blueprints, schedules, coordinates, anything and everything you know that could be of use.” Ben nodded.

“We’ll need to help her build her own lightsaber,” Luke said. “Soon. And we might want to take a look at yours, too.”

Ben frowned at him. “Don’t touch my lightsaber,” he said. “I like it the way it is.”

Luke sighed. “Of course, you do.”

Ben glared at him. “Why? Because I’m too much like Vader?”

Luke tilted his head. “No, because you’re too much like your father; he had a flair for the dramatic.”

Ben’s anger subsided, though still simmered under the surface as always. Leia heaved a sigh, sounding tired and older than her 50-odd years. “Alright. We’ve got a lot to do.” He motioned them out. Luke gave her a little smile that made Rey ache for that kind of familiarity. As they shuffled out, Leia put a hand on her son’s shoulder and squeezed, and Ben ducked his head close, letting her lean up and press a kiss to his cheek. “When did you get so _tall_?” she whispered, and he gave a watery little laugh.

Ben let go of her and Rey slumped into her little hiding spot. She was trembling; something about keeping the Bond so open and letting herself entwine with Ben like that had really worn her out. That was how he found her a few minutes later, his shadow falling over her. “Hi,” he said, sounding a little embarrassed.

Rey hurriedly sat up, swiping a hand across her face to wipe away any tears. “Hi!” she said, trying to sound cheerful. She stood and twisted her hands together. “If um… if you’re not up for training today-”

“No,” he said, shaking his head. “It doesn’t matter how I feel; your training is more important. Come on.” Rey grinned at him and followed.

The mood of the base increased drastically with the arrival of the legendary Luke Skywalker. Ben ramped up his training, pushing Rey further each day. After a couple of days, a nearly full platoon of defected Stormtroopers arrived and submitted themselves to Finn’s command. Leia had been right, and they were able to place spies within in the First Order.

In a development that clearly surprised Ben, the words of Kylo Ren’s defection from The First Order to join the ranks of the Resistance actually helped a recruitment drive. People began arriving to join the Resistance in numbers they hadn’t seen in months. One or two asked to meet Ben, but he declined each meeting. When Rey asked him why, he said he didn’t want to disappoint them or make them regret their decision.

“Rey! Rey, please, I know it’s early but I need your help!” Rey groaned and turned over in bed, tucking a pillow over her head. It was sometime before dawn and she could hear Finn’s hushed, urgent whisper through her door. “Rey, I can see you moving, I know you’re awake,” he said, and she groaned louder.

“I. am. _sleeping_!” She threw her pillow at the door and buried his head in her arms. Ben and Luke had worn her out the day before, sending her spelunking into nearby caves to find the single kyber crystal Luke sensed in its depths.

“ _Please_ , Rey,” came Finn’s voice again, sounding defeated.

Rey heaved a sigh and turned over onto her back. “Come in,” she grumbled, rubbing her eyes.

The door slid open. “Thank you, you’re my best friend, I love you – I need your help.”

Rey turned her head to look at him. “How are you awake this early?”

Finn rolled his eyes. “Some of the troopers are still on their old sleep cycles,” he said. “And some of them have nightmares. Not a lot of sleeping for me lately.”

Rey tried to remain stern, but she couldn’t help it. She adored his face; he was so earnest and sweet. “Fine; what do you need?”

He grinned. “My squad was going to go scouting for supplies. We found out there’s another base a few hours from here. But three of our speeders broke down; Leia wants us to get going as soon as possible; can you help us repair them?”

“Aren’t there mechanics for that?” she asked.

He shook his head. “They’re all working on the ships the new recruits have been bringing; Leia wants them all in the air in case we need them.”

“Okay, okay. I’m getting up.”

“You’re the best!” Finn hugged her tightly. “I’ll grab some breakfast and meet you outside.”

Rey waved him off and got her sore body out of bed, stretching and trying to work out the kinks before getting dressed and meeting with Finn. He handed her a food bar and thermos of caf. Rey could feel Ben stirring in the back of her mind; he was waking up. He was still drugging himself to sleep to prevent dreaming, but she thought he might have lowered the dose, because she could sometimes sense things from him as he slept. _‘Ben?’_ she reached out.

 _‘How are you vertical?’_ he asked grumpily _. ‘I’m sore just thinking about that climb you did yesterday.’_

Rey smiled a little. _‘I’m sorry Ben, I may not be available for training today.’_

Silence. Then, _‘Why?_ ’ And before she could stop him, he was there in her head, seeing through her eyes. Seeing Finn’s bright face, hearing his cheerful chatter as they walked together. _‘Oh. I see.’_ His tone was cold but underneath she could feel the rising anger and jealousy.

_‘No, Ben-’_

_‘Have fun,’_ he snapped, then cut the connection short.

“Rey? Something wrong?” Finn had stopped and was looking at her with concern.

She opened her mouth to say everything was fine. But Finn was her friend. “I think Ben is… upset. That we won’t be training today.”

Finn’s gaze was sharp and knowing, but not disdainful as she’d expected. “Maybe we should send Poe to entertain him.”

“Send Poe to do what?” Poe asked as he walked up.

Rey turned to him. “I won’t be training with Ben today and – I don’t like him being out there alone.”

“Well, I’ve got some things to do this morning, but I can check on him later,” Poe said, as if Ben was just another soldier, and not the man who had once tortured him, violated his mind.

“Would you?” Rey asked.

“Sure.” Poe shrugged. “I’ve got a free afternoon.”

“Thank you,” she said with feeling.

Poe winked at her, squeezed Finn’s hand for a moment, then headed off to his own work.

Finn showed Rey to a building where about half a dozen speeders sat waiting. They were ancient but in surprisingly good condition for having been in storage for a few decades. Some of Finn’s troopers were hanging around, but stood straight as they arrived. “Sir!” one of them said, voice formal. “Instructions.”

Finn sighed. “Yeah – _relax_ , Kess.” Rey watched the troopers look at each other, like they didn’t know what the word meant.

“Actually,” Rey said slowly. “I’ll probably need some help with the speeders.” She knew what it was like when your whole life revolved around work.

“They’re not mechanics, Rey,” Finn said.

“Can they follow directions?” Rey looked at Kess. “Well? Can you?”

“Yes, ma’am,” the woman said proudly.

Rey smiled. “Good. Let’s get to work.”

As much as she enjoyed her training with Ben, she loved fixing the speeders. Training felt like trying to keep sand out of your shoes. Hard work, but with no end in sight. Fixing the speeders was a structured task with a goal. Finn’s troopers were nice company; friendly, a little tentative but good-natured, and ready and willing to help. She liked them all a lot, and it made her heart ache for the people still trapped in those white helmets. Did they even know there was another choice?

With Kess’s help, Rey was able to finish the job in late afternoon. She scrubbed off the grease and grabbed a basket, filling it with fruit and sandwiches to bring to Ben. She headed off into the trees and by the time she was raising herself in the basket, the sun was beginning to set, painting the sky orange and purple. As Rey was tying up the basket, she realized she could hear voices. More than one, coming from Ben’s cabin. Poe was there as well, as Rey had asked. She smiled a little and headed inside, pausing for a moment at the sight before her.

The small kitchen table had been dragged to the center of the room, and Poe and Ben sat there, playing cards. She caught the word ‘pazaak’. Rey moved closer, watching them. Now that she was close and not trying to give him space, she could hear Ben counting in his head.

“Hey there, Miss Jedi,” Poe said. “I’ve lost three hands in a row.”

Rey jerked her head towards Ben. “He’s counting cards.”

 _‘Snitch,’_ came Ben’s voice in her head.

Poe gave ‘what the hell, man?’ hands. “You cheating bastard,” he said, but the tone of his voice was, if not fond, at least friendly.

“It’s not cheating,” Ben said calmly. “It’s a skill. I’m not using the Force.”

“Oh really?” Poe asked. “How do I know you’re not reading my mind?”

“You’d know,” Ben said flatly.

“I’m suddenly glad I didn’t suggest strip-pazaak.”

Ben laughed. Ben _laughed_. Rey’s breath caught in her throat. It wasn’t a big or loud laugh, but it was warm and amused and real, and that was _her_ laugh. The one she’d teased out of him on the Falcon. It was _hers_.

Poe tossed his cards on the table. “I should get back,” he said. Rey was frozen as he dug around in the basket in her hands, coming up with a piece of fruit. Poe didn’t seem to notice. “Have fun, kids.” He gave a mock salute then hopped into the basket, lowering himself down and looking much cooler than she ever did.

Rey was left staring at Ben, and she finally understood. Those flashes of anger, jealousy, she knew what that was, because now it was choking her. How dare he sit here, laughing and joking with Poe Dameron? They had been trying to kill each other less than a month before. Ben was – Ben was _hers_. He _belonged_ to her.

That thought was so foreign and distressing that she blinked, coming back to herself and realizing with a humiliating start that Ben was staring at her. He knew exactly what was going through her head.

His gaze was dark and intense and she couldn’t read him; his mind was that frightening blank that happened before he attacked. Rey’s breath came quick and she dropped the basket. “I – I should go,” she said, taking a step back.

Gaze never breaking, Ben said evenly, “Yes. You should.”

Sometimes, when she was climbing through a downed star destroyer, her footing would fail. She would slip, her rope would fail, and she would fall. She knew very well the feeling of her back hitting hard-packed sand, the way all the breath left her in a violent rush. That was what she felt as Ben spoke.

Rey turned and hurried the basket, fumbling with the ropes, her face burning. Ben didn’t try to help her. She lowered herself to the ground too fast and stumbled to her hands and knees, then got up and ran back to camp, vision blurry with tears. What was wrong with her? This jealousy, this possessiveness, it wasn’t like her.

Rey didn’t sleep that night, laying awake and trying to parse what had happened. Was she becoming more like Ben? Was the Bond doing this to her? If so, it might be working the other way, making Ben more like her. What if his turn, his choice to join them and the slow progress she was seeing, was just a result of the Bond pressing her personality into him? How could they be sure anything they thought was organically their own?

Sometime before dawn, when her mind was exhausted, she reached out to him. _‘I’m sorry,’_ she said.

 _‘You didn’t do anything wrong,’_ was his immediate response. Of course, he hadn’t been sleeping either.

 _‘You were angry with me,’_ she argued.

 _‘Of course I wasn’t angry with you,’_ he said, sounding a little impatient. ‘I was… caught off guard.’

 _‘I have no right to think of you that way,’_ Rey said miserably.

 _‘Nothing you thought was… incorrect.’_ His tone was careful, measured. He was blocking as much of himself as he could.

Rey bit her lip, thinking about this. _‘It’s the same thing I feel from you sometimes,’_ she said.

Confusion poured down the Bond. _‘What are you talking about?’_

 _‘You know,’_ she prompted. _‘When you see me with Finn and Poe, when they’re close to me.’_ She sent an image of Poe kissing her hand and felt the immediate wave of hot jealousy. _‘There! That!’_

Ben was silent for a long time, so long that she thought he wouldn’t answer. Finally, he did respond, his inner voice soft, almost meek. Ashamed. _‘Is that was that is? Jealousy?’_

Rey frowned. _‘I don’t understand. Do you not know what you were feeling?’_

 _‘No,’_ he said. _‘I didn’t know what it was.’_

 _‘Oh.’_ It was Rey’s turn to go silent. Then, _‘Why did you send me away?’_

Ben’s reply, when it came, was bathed in shame and misery. _‘If you hadn’t left when you did, I was going to… I would have…’_ Images flashed through her mind, Ben’s hands on her, Rey’s legs wrapped around his waist, their mouths pressed together. Ben shoved the images away violently. _‘I didn’t think it was a good idea for either of us,’_ he added sullenly.

He was right, of course. But now that the images were in her head, she knew they would plague her. They both went quiet and Rey had almost finally drifted off to sleep when Ben’s voice came again. _‘Rey. We need to break the Bond.’_

Rey felt sick. _‘You hate it that much?’_

 _‘I love it,’_ he said fiercely. _‘Having a part of you that no one else does?’_ Then, _‘Oh, I see. Jealousy. I’m an idiot.’_

Rey huffed a laugh, then sobered. ‘ _Why do you want to break it, then?’_

 _‘It’s a liability,’_ he said. _‘Luke told me that some Bonds were so strong that physical injuries could be passed between them. And let’s face it – ours is strong. If one of us is injured in battle, it could impair the other. I won’t have you dying because of me.’_

As always, he had a perfectly logical reason for doing something that felt like rejection. But this time, she pushed. _‘There’s something else,’_ she said. _‘Isn’t there?’_

Ben hesitated. _‘Rey,’_ he said, and weirdly, she felt embarrassment coming from him _. ‘I want – a lot of things. With you. And if you ever decided to – to let me-’_ She could feel him pacing around his cabin in frustration, running his hands through his hair. _‘I would have to know that it was because you wanted it. I can’t risk you making a choice to be with me, and that choice being influenced by my own desires. You have to be able to choose freely.’_

Rey’s mouth trembled and she pressed a hand to it. That, more than anything, convinced her that she was important to him. _‘Okay,’_ she said back, even though the idea of being alone in her head again was terrifying. _‘We’ll work with Luke and see if it can be broken.’_

 _‘Thank you,’_ Ben said in a rush, relief flooding them both. _‘Now get some sleep, scavenger. Don’t think I’m going to go easy on training because you stayed up late.’_

 _‘I will if you will,’_ she said.

He sighed but she felt him crawling into bed. _‘Fine. Close your eyes.’_

Rey pressed a smile against her pillow and did as she was told.

The next morning, Rey and Ben met in the camp, with an air of awkwardness but it wasn’t an unpleasant feeling. It felt like something beginning. They headed to where Luke sat on a log by the river, meditating. “We need your help,” Rey said as they approached.

“Good morning to you too, Rey,” Luke said dryly, not opening his eyes.

“We want to break the Bond,” Ben said.

At that, Luke did open his eyes and turn to them. “Really?” he asked, curiously. “Why?”

They glanced at each other. “It’s too much,” Ben said, looking at Luke. “We’re going to drown in it. At the very least, it’s a liability. We’re going to battle soon and it could get one or both of us killed.”

“That’s very practical of you both,” Luke said. “I don’t pretend to be an expert, but I was able to cut myself off from the Force for a long time. I might be able to help.”

Ben nodded. Rey chewed her lip, twisting her fingers together. “Will it hurt?” she asked.

“I think that depends on how its done,” Luke said. “Quick and rough or careful and measured? One is more likely to hurt than the other.”

“Well, we should start today, we can-” Rey broke off as Finn came running up to them, Poe close behind.

“Rey! Luke!” Finn skidded to a halt and bent over, panting.

“Finn?” Rey asked, alarmed.

Poe reached them a moment later, less winded. “We just got word from our spies – Pryde is dead. Hux has taken control of the First Order and he’s devoted everything they have to finding us. We have to bit them first, once and for all. Leia wants to see all of us in her office, now.”

Rey and Ben looked at each other. _‘My lightsaber isn’t finished,’_ she said nonsensically.

 _‘We’ll figure something out,’_ he said.

The mood of the little group had darkened; the sky seemed duller. War was coming. Without speaking, the five of them turned and headed towards the camp, ready to begin.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> this is coming along at a clip; i can't promise each update will be this quick but as it stands, i kinda can't stop with this story.


	5. Chapter 5

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The Resistance makes a plan and prepares for war. Rey and Ben make promises.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I know this chapter is a bit shorter than normal but I had a feeling it would end up too long to tackle if I didn't break it up before the battle. I've updated to an estimated number of 7 chapters; that may change but I think that's where this is headed. The next chapter may not be available until early next week. I want it to be right. 
> 
> also I know I said I hate babies-ever-after, and that's still true, but there's a brief mention of babies in this chapter

Leia was waiting for them in her makeshift office. All around was the sound of a base full of people gearing up for action. As they crowded into her office, Rey got pushed into a corner with Ben. She let herself lean back against him, heard his breath come sharp as they pressed together. But neither of them said a word as Leia gathered her leaders together.

“General Hux has wrested control of the First Order and declared himself Supreme Leader,” she said. She flicked on a holo and it was a broadcast, sent to all members of the First Order.

Hux stood tall and proud, looking so smug that Rey felt a little sick. “After a time of turmoil, we are stronger than ever!” Hux declared. “We have culled the herd, rid ourselves of the weak and licentious. We will no longer rely on ancient religions; the Force is a weakness. Snoke had it, and he died at his own student’s hand. Kylo Ren had it, and it was used against him by that scavenger whore to turn him to rebellion.” Rey felt anger surge in Ben, and he gripped her arm tightly. She put her hand over his. “We will win because we are superior; in intellect, in breeding, in might, in technology. We will win because it is our _right_. The galaxy will bow to our rule. Are you ready to wipe this low-bred, inferior rabble from the stars?” They heard cheering and the feed was cut.

“Disgusting,” Luke muttered.

“That’s pretty typical of him, actually,” said Ben, though there was a thread of anger in his voice.

“All of the leadership we have left is in this room,” Leia said. Rey looked around. That left the Skywalker twins, Chewie, Finn, Poe, and herself and Ben.

“We once beat the Empire with sticks,” Luke said, and Leia smiled a little.

 _‘They did what?’_ Rey asked.

 _‘Once we win the war, I’ll take you to the forest moon of Endor and introduce you to Uncle Wicket,’_ Ben said. Rey got an image of teddy bears holding sharp sticks and was even more confused.

 _‘You’re that certain we’ll win?’_ Rey asked, amused.

_‘They have you, and you’ve had an excellent teacher.’_

“The First Order no longer has a base of operations,” Leia continued. “Hux has taken over a star destroyer called The Steadfast as his flagship. He is living there, using it as a mobile command center. The rest of the fleet is damaged by the recent conflict but they’re working on rebuilding. There is very little leadership left among the First Order. Hux has a small handful of trusted, loyal Generals who are overseeing the remains of his armies. He has gathered them all in The Steadfast for strategizing. They’re going to be working on a plan to take us out. If we get to them first, we can take out the entire First Order leadership in one fell swoop. Without their leadership to give directions, the rest of their forces will fall easily.” She brought up the schematics of the ship. “Any ideas?”

“We may be able to get some of the Stormtroopers to turn,” Finn said. “Enough of them have joined us because of the in-fighting or following Ky- Ben. If we can get a message out to every ship at the same time, we can try and convince them to join us. Kess was well-respected; she could do it. At the very least, it might cause some confusion, which can only help us.”

Leia nodded. “Good idea. I’m sure our techs can force a broadcast in a pinch. Anything else?”

“A full-frontal assault would be a bad idea, even with their weakened numbers,” Poe said. “What we need is a strike team to get inside the Steadfast, track down Hux and his generals, and kill them all at once.”

“I can get us in,” Ben. “I know those ships inside and out. Getting there might be a problem.”

“No,” Finn said, the words coming as if he was building the plan even as he spoke. “No, some of the troopers came in their own First Order fighters; we’ve got a few that are repaired and ready to fly. That should at least get us close enough to board, right?”

“Maybe, but we’ll be shot on sight the moment they see us coming,” Poe said.

“Not if we’re prisoners,” Rey said. She was thinking of her own trip to see Ben, being cuffed and led right into Snoke’s chamber. “Ben, is Hux arrogant enough to want to see us directly?”

“After what we did to Snoke? Maybe, but I think he’d be more cautious.”

“Would he at least want us alive to make us watch our friends die?” Rey pressed.

No one seemed to like that, but Ben was eyeing her suspiciously. “Yes,” he said slowly. “He hated me. He’d – he’d kill you first and make me watch.”

“That’s good!” Rey said happily.

“It really isn’t?” Poe said, confused.

“Yes! We have First Order fighters and First Order stormtroopers here! So, they can bring us in, say that they want to surrender themselves for reprograming, and that they’ve brought the leaders of the Resistance as penance for their treason! At the very least, we’ll be put in the brig, and we can absolutely get out of there. But if we’re lucky, Hux will want to parade us around, and we’ll have a chance to over-take him.” Rey grinned at them all.

“That’s... incredibly reckless,” Luke said.

“It’s a good idea,” Leia countered.

“You’re just as reckless as her,” Luke argued.

“Yeah, and how many times did that save your ass?” Luke went quiet and Leia preened. “So, ground team will be Poe, Finn, Rey, and Ben,” she continued. “Poe, Finn, do you have people you trust to lead an assault under Chewie and Luke’s command once we have the First Order in disarray?”

“Absolutely,” Finn said.

“They’re ready, General,” Poe agreed.

“Good; we leave at dusk. Everyone go about your preparations. We meet back here an hour before the mission to ready the troops and go over the plan one last time.” They began to file out, and Leia said, “Rey? A moment, please.”

Rey felt that instant ‘my teacher is mad at me’ feeling she always got from the few old women who had taught her about scavenging. Ben squeezed her arm but didn’t even try to stay with her, that traitor. She didn’t invite him to watch either, so the connection was shuttered as much as possible when she sat down in front of Leia’s desk.

Leia closed the door then sat down beside her. “I know I’ve said it before but after everything that’s happened – I want to thank you for bringing my son back.”

Rey smiled gently at her. “He did a lot of the work himself.”

“That’s true,” Leia agreed. “But he’s relied on you and you’ve been there for him.”

Rey looked down at her hands, unused to praise. Leia put a hand over hers. “I want you to have something.” She reached into her robes and pulled out two golden dice, hanging on a chain. “These were Han’s,” she said. “They always brought him luck.” Leia took one of Rey’s hands and wrapped the chain around her wrist. “I wanted to give them to Ben, but I was afraid he would... take it wrong,” she admitted. “I didn’t want him to think I was throwing his father in his face.”

“I understand,” Rey said, tears in her eyes. “Thank you. I promise to bring them back, safe and sound.”

Leia’s hand tightened. “If these come back on your corpse, I will follow you into the Force and kill you again myself,” Leia said fiercely. “You bring _yourself_ back, you understand? Ben, too, if he’s listening. Both of you. You _come home_. Promise me.”

Rey swallowed against the lump in her. “I promise,” she said in a rough whisper.

Leia smiled at her, giving her hand one final pat. “Alright. You go on and get ready. We’ve got a few hours.”

Rey nodded and stood, hurrying out before the tears could spill over. She stood in the sun for a long moment, watching the members of Resistance hurrying around, getting things ready for the attack. Rey began to head towards Ben’s cabin before realizing she couldn’t feel him in that direction. Turning around, she looked for him in her head and followed her inner sense of him, soon coming upon the Falcon.

Rey gave a rueful smile and headed inside, right to the little cubby where she knew she would find him. Sure enough, she could feel his mind behind the wall. She raised a hand to knock but the door slid open. “Hi,” he said.

“Hi,” Rey said. Then she pushed her way inside, and he closed the door. Rey hopped up on the little bed, leaving Ben to lean against the door. She traced her fingers over a painting on the wall of Chewie and Ben, flying kites.

“So, what did you talk about?” Ben asked.

“She congratulated me on the wedding and asked what we’ll name our first child,” Rey said with a smirk.

Ben choked and she laughed. “You’re… _evil_ ,” he said. “Unbelievable. Just the worst.” But he moved closer, planting a hand on either side of the bed so he could lean and meet her eyes. “With our luck, we’d have triplets, and they’d all be Force-sensitive.”

Rey laughed again. “Dropping buckets of water on their nanny’s head?” she asked, eyes sparkling.

“Did Dameron tell you that?” Ben asked. “Because that was _his_ idea. I was just the only one who could lift things with my mind.”

“I think it’s adorable.”

“The nanny didn’t; he was a droid.”

Rey laughed again, bright and happy and before she realized what was happening, Ben was kissing her.

She gasped against his mouth and slid his hands up to hold her face, his fingers in her hair, thumbs pressing against her cheeks. It took Rey a second to process Ben’s mouth against hers, but once she did, she kissed him back, hands curling into the front of his shirt. He slid a hand further into her hair, and his other down, wrapping an arm around her back and pulled her closer. He stood between her legs where she sat perched on the cot. _‘What happened to waiting until the Bond was broken?’_ Rey managed to ask.

 _‘Fuck it,’_ was his reply.

The images spilling through the Bond from Ben’s mind were… Rey’s toes curled as she saw herself in various states of undress. Ben was imagining various bits of himself between her legs, his hips, his hands, his head, his mouth pressed to her.

Rey gasped again and broke the kiss. Her whole body was flushed and trembling a bit. Ben blinked his eyes open and he looked wrecked. She had never seen him look so overwhelmed _. ‘You’re beautiful, you know that?’_ she said in their minds, stroking a hand down his cheek.

He stared at her uncomprehendingly for a second, then huffed a laugh _. ‘Funny, I was thinking the same thing about you. I guess we really_ can _read minds.’_

Rey smiled and leaned in, pressing her cheek to his shoulder. Ben wrapped his arms around her. She didn’t stay that way though, pulling back after only a few moments to look him in the eye. “We’re not going to do this right now,” she said. She reached up and traced her fingers down his cheek. “Because we both know that we’re… reckless. And I want us both to come back from this.” She smirked. “So, I think you need a little incentive to come back to me.”

Ben’s eyes went a little wide. Then he spoke, voice hushed. “I love it when you’re devious,” he said, almost reverently.

“I know you do,” Rey said smugly. Smug was a new feeling she was learning from Ben. She liked it.

Ben took hold of her face and pressed a kiss to her forehead, then took a very deliberate step back, putting as much space between them as he could in the small room. He wrapped his arms around himself, and she knew it was to make it easier to resist touching her again.

Rey stared at him. He still wore borrowed clothes, this time a blue shirt and black pants. His hair was a bit longer and wild, and there was scruff on his cheeks. He clearly hadn’t been keeping up on shaving. There was a light in his eyes that hadn’t been there when they’d first met. The difference was like…

“If you keep that up,” Ben said, giving her a mock glare, “this whole ‘waiting until we win the war’ thing is going right out the airlock.”

Rey gave an embarrassed little laugh. “Fine, fine,” she said, hopping off the bed. “Let me out; I’m sure they’ll put us to work.”

Ben stepped aside and trailed the backs of his fingers down her arm before opening the door. “You have no idea what I see when I look at you,” he said quietly. “When this is over, I’ll show you.”

Rey let out a shaky breath and forced herself to walk away. To his credit, Ben let the connection fall silent. She went right to Finn and Poe and offered her help with the preparations.

Everyone in the camp worked through the day to get ready. “Ben joining us was a real stroke of luck,” Finn said to her as they help calibrate the guns on the stolen First Order fighters.

“What do you mean?” she asked.

“Well, think about it,” he said. “He left the First Order in complete disarray and caused an actual civil war between the people left. They’re at a fraction of their previous strength. On the other hand, we’ve gained allies, supplies, and we’re all well-rested and ready to fight.” He slid out from under the panel he was working on to look at her. “I don’t think we could have done this without him.”

Rey smiled. “I’ll tell him you said so.”

“Don’t you dare,” Finn said, pointing his hexdriver at her. “His head is big enough as it is; have you seen those ears?”

“Indeed, I have,” she said with a laugh. “Up close.”

Finn glared at her for a second, then rolled himself back under the panel. “All I’m saying is that you did the right thing on Crait. Okay?”

“Thank you,” she said warmly, and they went back to working in silence.

An hour before dusk, the entire Resistance gathered in the open center of the camp. Rey joined Ben and Poe, who had been working together on the infiltration plan, where they stood near the front of the crowd. Rey took hold of Ben’s arm as Finn pressed himself to Poe’s side.

Leia stood on top of a crate so she could be seen by all. Chewie stood on one side, Luke on the other. Her eyes swept across the whole group. “I just want to say how proud I am of all of you,” she said, voice clear and echoing across the silent crowd. “This fight isn’t glamorous; there’s no glory to be found in these battles. Resisting oppression, abuse, and fear isn’t like the old stories of epic heroics. It’s hard, and it’s dirty, and sometimes we lose. But all of you have just kept going. You get up, every single time. You _stand_. And that strength of character, that determination is going to carry us through this final test. And we will come out the other side victorious. Not victory for glory; not victory for fame. We fight for freedom, and for those who cannot fight. The First Order doesn’t see the value in our differences; they want control and sameness and absolute obedience. Our differences are what make us strong. Today, we launch our final assault on the First Order. We will show them that how strong our differences make us. We will show them what we can do when people of all walks of life come together for a common goal. We will show them that their control is an illusion and that the beautiful, _essential_ diversity of life will always win out.” Her eyes swept the group again, steely and Rey could see the Princess inside the General. “May the Force be with us all.”

The crowd cheered and Poe looked at the other three. “Well,” he said. “Here goes nothing.” 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> this is definitely the longest thing I've ever written and i'm really grateful for everyone reading along. thanks for coming on this journey with me. the end is coming.
> 
> no promises, but i may write a couple short things from Ben's perspective once this is done. if there's any words left in me lol
> 
> pls join me at my reylo sideblog light-reys.tumblr.com


	6. Chapter 6

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The Resistance launch a final attack on The First Order. Ben makes a choice. 
> 
> TW CW
> 
> There's talk of sexual assault in this chapter but nothing actually happens beyond some non-consensual face-touching. 
> 
> I do also want to point out, without spoiling anything, that I haven't changed the warnings on this story; there's still no major character death

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> this one hurt

Rey and Ben stood side by side as shackles were cuffed to their wrists. Poe and Finn were in salvaged Stormtrooper armor, along with a handful of Finn’s defectors, led by Kess. “These were rigged up pretty fast,” Finn said. “But they should be enough to fool them into thinking they suppress your Force abilities. That should make Hux feel more secure in being around you, maybe even parading you around the ship.”

Rey flexed her hands. She hated the feel of being bound but knowing she could get out at any time helped ease the discomfort.

“Kess will do the talking,” Poe continued. “Finn and I have borrowed designations from some of the other defectors, in case they make us do a roll-call or something. But they know us, so we’re gonna stay hidden as long as possible. We might get separated, but that’s okay.” He tapped a ring that had been slid onto Rey’s finger – like a wedding ring. “This tracker is pretty short-range but as long as we’re all still on the ship, we should be able to find you.”

“They’ll probably confiscate Ben’s lightsaber,” Finn said. “But Ben thinks Hux will want to keep it as a trophy, so hopefully it won’t be destroyed, and you’ll be able to retrieve it. If not, you’re on your own for weapons.”

“Kess, is everything ready?” Poe asked, turning to her.

The now-helmeted woman nodded. “The ship is geared-up; as soon as we’re far enough away from the base, we’ll turn the tracker back on and head for The Steadfast,” she replied, voice tinny through the helmet. “They won’t bring the whole vessel for just one lost drop-ship, so we’ll have to go to them.”

“Alright; everyone on board.” Poe motioned to the ship, then pulled on his helmet.

“A little short for a Stormtrooper,” Ben muttered.

“Shut up,” Poe said, poking him in the back with his gun barrel. “Ass.”

They boarded the small troop carrier and sat down, nervously fidgeting as Poe and Kess lifted the ship off the planet and out of the atmosphere.

_‘Ben?’_ Rey reached out tentatively. The Bond between them was wider than ever. _‘I’m scared,’_ she admitted.

_‘Yeah, me too,’_ was his tired reply.

Rey pressed a little closer to his side and let herself lean into his warmth. The trip was both too short and far too long. By the time they were hailed by the Steadfast, Rey’s whole body was trembling. At least she wouldn’t have to pretend to be terrified.

“This is Supreme Leader Hux,” came Hux’s voice over the comms. “You have thirty seconds to explain why I shouldn’t have your vessel disintegrated.”

Kess responded right away. “Supreme Leader, we’ve come to submit ourselves for reeducation,’ she said, in her best soldier voice. “And as penance, we have brought two high-level targets – the traitor Kylo Ren and the scavenger girl from Jakku.”

The link was deathly silent. Then, “Docking Bay 3. Now.”

They shut the link, and all breathed a sigh of relief. It wasn’t easy from here, not by a longshot, but knowing they weren’t about to be shot out of the sky was good. Kess and Poe brought the ship into the correct dock and landed. Everyone stood and Poe and Finn each grabbed a hold of Ben and Rey and, led by Kess, they marched out of the ship.

They were met with a small squad of troopers, armed and at attention. The guns raised as their feet touched the Steadfast’s deck. “Hold for the Supreme Leader,” one of the troopers said. They all stopped and waited, Rey’s hand’s trembling. Ben was counting cards in his head again.

After just a few tense moments, a door opened at the far end of the docking bay and Hux came striding in. He stood tall and proud in an all-white suit with a red cloak that billowed behind him. Rey felt Ben tense and she tried to inch closer to him. “Well, well, well,” Hux said, so smug that Rey thought his mouth might get stuck in that little sneer. “How the mighty have fallen.” Hux stepped forward, then stopped. “The cuffs are Force-suppressing, I assume?”

Kess stepped forward and nodded. “Yes, sir,” she said.

Hux nodded as well. “Good.” He flicked a hand lazily. The Stormtrooper on his right took a single step forward, raised his gun, and shot Kess in the neck, between her helmet and armor. She crumpled to the floor as the rest of the group struggled not to react. Rey let herself look horrified because it would make sense for her to be, but she could feel Finn begin to tremble at her side.

There wasn’t time to process Kess’ loss, however. Hux stepped closer. “The rest of you traitors will be remanded for reeducation,” he said. “That was a message; but I am not one to waste resources. You will serve me far better as living bodies.” He stepped up close to Ben and Rey. He eyed Ben first, then leaned down to get into Rey’s face. “So, this is why you abandoned your ideals,” he murmured. “She doesn’t look like much to me.” Rey flinched as Hux’s gloved hand reached out and gripped her chin tightly. _‘I’m alright,’_ she sent to Ben, but all she got back was that terrifying white noise of violence.

“Get off her,” Ben said through gritted teeth.

Hux cocked an eyebrow and released Rey, stepping back to look at Ben again. “Don’t tell me Kylo Ren has gone soft for this filthy scavenger whore,” he said, laughing a bit. “Why, he even-” Hus grabbed Rey’s shackles and lifted them, showing off the tracking ring on her finger. “- he even married her!” He laughed again, and so did a few of his troopers. He stepped closer to Ben, looking him in the eye. “She’s as low-breed as your dead father.”

Ben was breathing heavily through his nose, his teeth and jaw clenched tight. His hands flexed in their restraints but ultimately, he was forced to look away from Hux’s gaze. Hux gave a please laughed and stepped back. “Take them to my chambers,” he said. “The others will be submitted to reeducation.”

_‘His chambers?’_ Rey asked. _‘That’s better than we’d hoped!’_

The reply, when it came, was filled with more anger and venom than she’d ever felt from Ben. _‘He plans to put his hands on you,’_ he told her. _‘And he wants to make me watch.’_

That news hit Rey hard in the stomach and she stumbled a bit before continuing their forced march. _‘Well, we won’t let him,’_ she said firmly. _‘Just remember that we can’t do anything to him until we get the signal that Poe and Finn and their team are ready. No matter what happens, we can’t move until they are armed.’_

Ben didn’t respond and Rey worried about it. She didn’t want him moving on Hux too quickly out of his desire to protect her. There were more important things at stake. _‘Nothing’s more important than you,’_ Ben said to her, hearing her thoughts.

_‘Ben Solo, if I am the only reason that you’re here then you may as well rejoin the First Order now,’_ she snapped at him. _‘The safety of the galaxy is more important than either of us.’_

Silence. Then, _‘You’re right. And I’m not here because of you.’_ A pause. _‘Not_ just _you, anyway.’_

_‘Good.’_

Hux’s chambers were a large captain’s room, with a window looking out at the stars, a massive bed clad in black and red silk, and blaster bolt marks on the floor. _‘Does he execute people here?’_ Rey asked as they were led inside.

_‘I wouldn’t put it past him,’_ Ben replied bitterly.

“On their knees,” Hux said idly, and the troopers forced Ben and Rey to kneel in the center of the room. “Now leave us; guard the door in case of treachery.”

Ben was glaring up at Hux like he thought he could kill him with his eyes. Rey looked around the room, trying to find something that could be used for their advantage.

Hux leaned close to Ben and took his lightsaber from his belt. “I hate this thing,” he sneered, turning it over in his hands. “A relic of bygone eras.” He looked at Rey. “Did you know he built it from the parts of lightsabers that belonged to Jedi he killed?” Rey didn’t know that, and Hux read it on her face. Ben turned away and Hux smirked. “I’m sure there’s a lot of things you haven’t told her,” Hux continued. He twirled the saber-hilt in his hands. “They used to call you Jedi-Killer. Of course, I had your little cabal executed.” Ben’s head snapped up and Hux nodded. “Oh yes. The Knights of Ren are dead, _Ben Solo_.” Hux said Ben’s name like it was something dead he’d found on the bottom of his shined boot.

“They fought admirably,” Hux continued, pacing a bit, clearly enjoying the memory. “But even the best warrior can be overwhelmed by numbers. I assume that’s what happened with you. Of course, I’m sure you were also-” he looked at Rey, “-distracted.”

_‘Were those your friends?’_ Rey asked.

_‘No,’_ Ben said. _‘And I don’t mourn them. But the fact that he killed them is… worrying.’_

“Your betrayal revealed a valuable piece of wisdom that we had been missing,” Hux said. “The Force is an infection; a disease. It corrupts all it touches. Those who wield it are either weak, idealist fools or rabid, obsessive beasts.” He stopped his pacing and faced them. “We will eradicate this sickness from the galaxy.”

Rey’s breath caught. Hux moved to a holo-projector set into the floor and brought up an image – it looked like security footage. A group of people huddled in a room – a brig? A storage room? “What is that?” Rey asked before she could stop herself.

Hux turned to her, looking manically pleased. “I’m so glad you asked,” he said. “Those are people infected with the Force; plague rats looking for a ship to spread their disease. We have developed methods of detecting them; none of them even know what they have. As I said, we’re going to eradicate this sickness from the galaxy. Even if we have to do it one by infected one.”

_‘Ben,’_ Rey pleaded desperately.

_‘I know,’_ was his dark reply.

_‘Ben, there’s_ children _in there.’_

_‘Rey, I promise you, we will save them.’_

_‘Why are they just huddled together like that? If he’s going to kill them, why-?’_

_‘Hux isn’t stupid,’_ Ben said. _‘Imagine if 30 force-sensitive people all thought they were in danger, all at once. They could tear the ship apart in a panic.’_

Rey settled just a little. If anyone tried to hurt them before they got there, maybe they’d be able to protect themselves. When she looked up, Hux was taking off his gloves. He reached out and roughly stroked his hand over her hair. Ben shifted next to her. _‘No,’_ she urged him.

Hux’s fingers tightened in her hair and he yanked her head back. “I should be angry with you for all the trouble you’ve caused,” Hux said lowly. “But if it weren’t for your meager seductions turning Kylo Ren to treason, I wouldn’t be here, on top, where I belong. Maybe I’ll kill him and keep you as a pet. I wouldn’t mind owning the cunt that almost felled an empire.”

Ben’s mind had gone blank again and Rey closed her eyes and prayed to whatever was out there; she didn’t even know what she was praying for. For Ben to maintain his composure? For Hux to find himself impotent? To wake up back in her AT-AT, all of this a distant dream? No, not that. She wouldn’t trade this for anything, not even if she died there on Hux’s floor.

The Force tugged at her. Rey opened her eyes just in time to see the lights in the room flash. _There_. The signal. She grinned at Hux, bright and happy. His eyes flashed in fear and then he was flying across the room, landing with a resounding smack in a heap at the foot of his ridiculous bed. Rey stood, dropping her cuffs. Ben was already on his feet, a hand out towards Hux. His lightsaber was back in his other hand. Rey reached out and called Hux’s sidearm to her, then pointed it at him.

“Wait!” Hux cried from his place on the floor, voice high and face red. He held up a hand; he had some kind of remote control in it. “I press this, and those filthy Force-bearers will be incinerated,” he said.

“If we leave him here, he’ll alert security,” Ben growled.

“If we don’t, he’ll kill those children,” Rey argued. “We’re here to save the galaxy, not get revenge. “

Ben stared at Hux for a long moment. “Fine,” he snapped. He pointed his lightsaber at Hux. “If you harm a hair on their heads, I will kill you myself. With my bare hands.”

“You’re going to die here, _Jedi_ ,” Hux sneered.

“Let’s go.” Ben and Rey backed towards the door, weapons trained on Hux until the door slid opened and they each faced down a trooper, knocking them out.

Rey raised her ring to her mouth, pressing her thumb to the underside. “We’re out,” Rey said urgently. “But there’s a snag; Hux is still alive. He’s got about 30 force-sensitive people, adults and children, locked up somewhere on the ship. He could kill them at any time. We have to find them.”

“ _Shit_ ,” came Poe’s voice. “Okay, we’ll find a list of prisoners and see if we can locate them. We’re on Deck 3; meet us here.”

Rey and Ben made their way through the ship, only getting half a dozen steps before the alarm was raised. They sped up, throwing aside the troopers who tried to interfere. They had been right though; their numbers were low. Too many had been lost in the in-fighting to truly call this an army. It had dwindled to a militia of only the most extreme and loyal.

“We have to upload the coordinates to command,” Poe said as Rey and Ben reached them. Poe and Finn had already taken off their armor and found impressive-looking blasters. “Watch the door.”

Rey and Ben turned to take up guarding the door to the security room. “Hey, gimme that,” Ben said, reaching for her blaster. He held out his saber.

“What?” she asked.

“You learned to shoot like, two months ago,” he said. “You’re better with a lightsaber. Switch with me.”

“What about you?” she asked even as she switched weapons with him.

He briefly inspected the gun, then gave her a smile so like his father that it was like looking into the past. “I’m good with everything.”

She rolled her eyes then turned back to watch the door.

Another tense minute or so passed before Finn cried, “There! There, we found them!” He slapped a hand loudly to the screen. “There, they’ve emptied an armory; all First Order armories are designed to destroy the contents in case an enemy gets ahold of the ship. Back through Docking Bay 3. The Resistance’s fighters should be here any second; once they arrive, we should have enough distraction to get there.”

“If we plant charges in the docking bay, we can blow a hole in the ship,” Poe said. “It’ll cripple it, leaving it dead in the water for our fighters to take out.”

“Is this gonna work?” Finn asked. “Guys, this is gonna work!”

An alarm sounded then, different from the first. “There they are,” Poe said in awe.

A crackle and Kess’ second in command came over the speakers. “My designation is LM-7124. But my _friends_ call me Lam,” he said. “And I want every stormtrooper on this ship to listen to me. The First Order stole you from your families; they brainwashed you to kill anyone who doesn’t fit into their plans. If you hear nothing else, please hear this – _you don’t have to fight for them_.”

The four of them stood transfixed, eyes on the ceiling as they listened.

“Lay down your weapons,” Lam continued. “Stop killing for men who couldn’t even be bothered to give you _names_. Join the Resistance. Fight for your names. Fight for your friends. _Please_.” The comms crackled out again.

Finn let out a shaky breath. “For Kess,” he said quietly. “Let’s go.”

The four of them took formation and made their way back the way they came, down towards Docking Bay 3.

“Get that disgusting filth off my ship!” Hux screeched over the comms. “I want Kylo Ren dead and I want that scavenger bitch brought in _alive_ , do you hear me?”

“Sounds like things aren’t going his way,” Poe said dryly. The ship shook, and all four were thrown to one side.

Poe’s personal comm clicked on and Luke Skywalker’s voice came through the static. “How’s my favorite nephew and his little friends?” he asked. “I assume you have Hux and his generals tied up in a comically neat pile in the center of his war room?”

“Not exactly,” Ben said.

“Well, the cavalry’s here,” Luke said. “Give ‘em hell, kid.”

_Bang_. Rey staggered back, clapping a hand to her shoulder. Poe shot down the stormtrooper who had just come around the corner. “What…?” came Finn’s voice.

Ben’s shoulder was bleeding. Rey lifted her hand from her own shoulder and saw… nothing. Ben’s eyes went a little wide. Then his jaw firmed, and he turned away. “We can’t stop,” he said.

They made it to the docking bay with no further interruptions. When they got there, however, they saw Ben’s old shuttle, refitted to for Hux. Hux and his generals were being escorted aboard by Hux’s personal guard. Ben stopped.

Rey grabbed his arm. “Ben, we can’t, we have to save the prisoners-”

He turned to her. “Rey, if we let them get away, they’ll just start over. Our children will have to fight this fight all over again. I’m not letting that happen.” He shoved a hand into his pocket and pressed something into her palm. “Go with Poe and Finn. Set the charges and get the prisoners out.”

She didn’t bother looking at the thing in her hand. “Ben, don’t do this,” she begged.

He pressed a kiss to her forehead then shoved her hard at Finn. “Get her out of here,” he snapped. Ben took off for the shuttle and Rey yanked against Finn’s hand on her arm. She could have gotten away easily but she knew Ben was right; besides, forcing Finn’s grip off her would mean hurting him, which she wasn’t willing to do.

She watched as Ben shot down the final two Stormtroopers to board and hopped up onto the hatch as it began to close. He turned and met her eyes. _‘Rey? I love you,’_ he said. Then he reached out a hand and Rey felt something inside her pull, twist, stretch to breaking point, then _snap_.

The Bond popped out of place like a joint from a socket, and Ben was gone from her mind.

The world shifted and Rey tilted sideways. “Woah, woah, Rey, are you okay?” Finn asked, holding her up.

“Ben...” she managed. “He…” She could barely speak. Her mind was a frightening hollow, a void left where Ben should be. She was so _cold_.

Poe eyed her. “Alright, c’mon Miss Jedi, we have to go. Let’s get this done.” When she didn’t reply, eyes unfocused and glazed, Poe glanced at Finn, then stepped forward and smacked Rey sharply in the face.

Her body jolted and she blinked at him. “What the hell?” Finn exclaimed.

“I’m fine,” Rey said, voice flat. “Finn, I’m fine. Let’s go.” She pulled away from him and strode towards their destination, igniting Ben’s lightsaber. She had nothing anymore, except a goal. There were people counting on her. Once they were safe, all of this could end. She could finally rest. Forever.

Poe stayed behind to set the charges, then ran to catch up with them. Judging by the chatter they were picking up, the Resistance was tearing its way through the fleet.

“We can use the lightsaber on the floor of their cell,” Finn said, inspecting as hologram of the schematics as they hurried through the halls. “There’s a storage room underneath, then Docking Bay 4 just down the hall. There should be a troop shuttle we can take to get them to safety. We – shit!”

Four Stormtroopers tried to ambush them from behind a false wall. Rey cut through them without stopping.

Poe and Finn glanced at each other, then followed a little further behind than before. Rey clearly was not herself.

Two more corridors and Rey stopped, a shudder running through her. “They’re here,” she said, and her voice was a grey, ashen shell of itself. She took a few more steps. “Here.” Rey pressed a hand to the door and closed her eyes. With a groan, the doors forced themselves open, revealing the dirty, terrified people huddled together behind it.

When a few pairs of eyes landed on Rey, standing tall and expressionless with Ben’s lightsaber in her hand, Poe stepped up between her and the crowd. “We’re from the Resistance,” he said. “We’re here to help you. Now I need everyone to press themselves as close to the wall as you can.”

They did as they were told, and Rey stepped forward. She knelt down and used the saber to begin burning a hole in the floor.

“I see Hux’s ship,” Luke said over the comms.

“Don’t shoot!” Poe hissed. “Ben is on that ship!”

Silence. Then, “What’s wrong with him?”

Poe glanced at Rey, her face lit by the red light of Ben’s saber. Very quietly, he replied, “I think he did something to Rey. She’s not herself right now.”

Luke growled. “We’ll deal with this later. Just get the hell out of there.”

“Yes, sir.”

“Don’t call me sir.”

Poe rolled his eyes and shut off the communicator. With a loud clang of metal, Rey kicked the hole open. The large circle of floor clattered down into the room below. She dropped down first, then jerked her head at them.

“Okay, let’s go, kids. You first, darlin’,” Poe said, taking hold of a little girl and lowering her down to Rey.

It took nearly five minutes, but they managed to get everyone down. Poe and Finn followed last. Rey still hadn’t spoken.

“Docking Bay 4 is just down the hall,” Poe whispered to them. “Everyone stay together, hold hands – buddy system, that’s it, kid – and do exactly as I say. We’re gonna get you out of here safe. I promise.”

“Hey! What are you – urgk.”

Poe and Finn stared at the unlucky technician who had come upon them, now sinking to the floor with a broken neck. Poe looked to Rey, but her lightsaber wasn’t even ignited. He turned to the group and saw a scared little boy near the front. His hands were up and his eyes were wide. “Shit,” he breathed. “We’ve got to get them out of here before they panic even more.” Poe scooped the boy up in his arms and shouted, “Let’s go!”

The whole group moved to the docking bay; the ship was mostly empty, all the troopers having taken fighters out to repel the Resistance. Finn and Rey cut through droids and the remaining workers, carving a path for the scared civilians to an empty troop dropship. “Alright, everyone on board!” Poe put the little boy down and hurried him into the ship. “Everyone – Rey?”

Rey was standing stock-still, her back to them.

“I’ve got her,” Finn said,” shoving at Poe. “Get the ship going.” Poe obeyed, and Finn hurried to Rey’s side. “Rey, what’s-” His eyes went wide as he saw the blood dripping from her nose, the burst vessels in her eyes. “Rey?” his voice trembled as badly as his hands as he reached for her.

All at once, like a marionette whose strings were cut, Rey crumpled. Finn caught her, lifting her limp body in his arms. “Shit, shit, shit,” he hissed, hurrying on to the ship. The doors closed and Finn slid to the floor, his back against the wall, Rey in his arms.

“Luke,” came Poe’s voice from the front. “I’m blowing the charges in the docking bay – once it goes, I want you to take the fucking thing out.”

“Rose is on her way right now, leading our gunners,” Luke said.

Poe bit his lip. “Where’s Hux’s ship?”

“It’s stalled out,” Luke said. “Dead in the water. We’re-”

The explosion from the Steadfast sent a shockwave through all the ships around. The dropship rocked and the kids made sounds of distress that were quickly soothed by the adults around them. None of these people were related that Finn could tell, but all of them were protecting each other like a family; no selfishness, no turning on each other to save themselves.

Finn looked down at Rey, still silent and cold in his arms. “Rey?” he whispered, eyes filling with tears. “Rey?” He stroked a hand over her face, and he watched his own tears splash across her cheekbones. “Please, _please_ don’t do this, please don’t leave me, Rey – I can’t, please, please, _please_ -”

Rey’s body shuddered, gave a sickening cough, and blood splattered her lips. But she was moving. She was alive.

“Poe, she’s alive!” Finn called, voice rough and high. “Get us the hell out of here!”

“Hold onto something!” Poe jerked the controls and the ship jumped into hyperspace as the Steadfast crumbled to pieces behind them.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> One more to go. For those of you undoubtedly worried about the Bond, please stick with me. I promise this story has a happy ending.


	7. Chapter 7

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The war is over.

Rey stood on the edge of a chasm, endless and pitch black. Ben stood on the other side and she begged him, _begged_ him not to do what he was doing. But she watched, frozen to the spot and unable to stop him, as he methodically cut the ropes holding the bridge in place. Didn’t he understand that if he cut the bridge, he’d be lost to her?

Ben looked up and met her eyes. “Sorry, sweetheart,” he said, and he sounded so much like his father. Then his knife slid through the final rope.

Rey jerked forward, trying to cross the bridge before it fell. Ben stepped back and watched as the bridge wavered, heaved, and crumbled under her. Rey tumbled into darkness, the air icy cold and pounding in her ears, rushing so loud it drown out everything else –

Rey gasped painfully, as if breaking through the surface of water, and heaved, coughing and shaking. “Shhh, it’s alright,” came Leia’s voice. Strong hands held Rey to the bed, keeping her from leaving. “It’s alright.”

The coughing subsided and Rey’s eyes stared unblinking. Everything came rushing back at once. The infiltration, the children, Ben twisting the Force inside her like a knife. She reached for him in her mind, desperate and grasping and she felt – nothing. “ _Ben_ ,” she wailed, clawing at the hands on her to get away, to find him.

The air became solid and slammed her onto her back on the bed. Rey blinked up and finally saw her surroundings. She was in Ben’s cabin, and Leia stood above her, a hand out, using the Force on her. “Rey,” Leia said gently. “Ben is alive; he’s right here.” She nodded her head to the side and Rey turned her head to see Ben, laid out on a cot, with Luke sitting at his bedside.

“Let me see him,” Rey said, and she barely recognized her own voice.

Leia hesitated. “Be careful,” she said. “You were both half-dead when we found you. You’re mostly healed but you’re delicate right now.”

“How long?” Rey asked, looking up at her.

“It’s been three days since the assault on the Steadfast,” Leia said. “You each spent 24 hours in a bacta tank before we moved you here.”

Rey nodded. “I’ll be careful. Please.”

Leia nodded as well and stepped back, lowering her hand. The force holding her down lifted, and Rey raised herself up carefully, feeling dizzy right away. She made her way slowly to the other bed, sinking to her knees next to it. Luke had a hold of Ben’s hand in both of his and seemed to be concentrating.

“What are you doing?” Rey whispered. Leia appeared at her side and pressed a flask of water into her hands. Rey took a drink, coughing back bile before she was able to keep it down.

“I’m healing him,” Luke said softly.

Rey’s face twisted. “He broke the bond,” she said miserably.

“No, he didn’t” Luke opened his eyes and looked down at her.

“I felt it,” she argued. “It was like something inside me was ripped out.”

“The Bond is still there,” Luke said. “I can see it, stretching between you like a thread. I think he _tried_ to break the Bond, but the Bond is unbreakable; it rebounded on him and instead, he forcibly cut himself off from the Force. It nearly killed you both.”

Rey’s breath left her. “What does any of this mean?”

Luke gave her a little smile. “Injuries like this aren’t unheard of. I cut myself off from the Force for a long time, though not as violently as Ben did. Don’t worry, it can be repaired. It’ll take some time. He’ll need your help. In fact…” Luke stood, placing Ben’s hand back onto his chest. “Why don’t you take over? You don’t have to know how to heal him; just be there. Your Bond will help speed up the healing process. Leia and I will have some food brought over. We’ve got a lot to do with the First Order defeated.”

Rey looked up at him. “So, it worked? We won?”

“It worked,” he said warmly. “We won.” He pressed a warm hand to her shoulder and squeezed. “Get some rest. You’ve been in a healing trance; you could use some actual sleep. We’ll check on you soon.”

Luke walked to Leia and offered her his arm, and the twins left the cabin, leaving Rey with a still, silent Ben. Her eyes swept over him, desperate for signs of life. He was definitely breathing, and his skin was warm. His face was so pale, hair like raven feathers against ivory. Rey half-climbed, half-crawled in the bed. She curled herself up on his chest, gripping his hands to her own chest, as tight as she could. “Come back to me,” she whispered. “Come back to me.” If she tried, she could just barely feel the thread of him in the Bond, so faint, thin as gossamer. She reached out for it, picturing it doubling in thickness, tripling, growing stronger. She didn’t know if that was wishful thinking or if it actually helped but it was all she knew to do. She fell asleep there, legs dragging off the cot and her upper body curled around Ben like a possessive cat. This time, she didn’t dream.

When Rey woke again, it was to the body under her heaving up. She sat up hurriedly as Ben coughed, dry heaves that shook his frame, just like when she’d awoken from her healing trance. She held onto him, rubbing his back until the coughing subsided. When he finally sat back, he blinked up at her, looking dazed. “Rey?” his voice was worse than hers.

“You’re an _idiot_ ,” she hissed. “I hate you.” Then she gripped his shoulder, forcing him to sit up. “Come on, drink something,” she grumpily, helping him with the flask of water.

Ben eyes never left her face as he did as he was told, as if he couldn’t believe she was there. When Rey took the flask back, he said, “How long?”

“Three days?” She glanced out the window at the dark sky. “Maybe four now, I’m not sure.”

“Did we-?”

“Yes, we won,” she snapped. “And you nearly killed us. What were you _thinking_ trying to break the bond like that? You could have-!”

She broke off as he took one of her hands in both of his. “I’m sorry,” he said, still staring at her like he’d never seen her before. “I went onto that ship knowing there was a good chance I would die there, and I was afraid if I did, you would die too.”

She frowned at him. “What do you mean?”

Ben raised a hand to her left shoulder, stroking his thumb over the exposed skin. “Do you remember after Hux, when I got shot?” She nodded. “You felt it. It wasn’t even muted, you felt it like you had been shot.” She thought about that, about the way her shoulder had been jarred back, as if from an impact. It had hurt. “If I get hurt, you get hurt,” he said. “Because of the Bond.”

“Well, you failed,” she said, but with a lot less anger this time. “You didn’t break the Bond; it’s unbreakable. All you did was cut yourself off from the Force, like an idiot.”

He smiled wanly at her. “You sound so surprised; am I usually smarter than that?”

Rey stared at him, then laughed, despite herself. “I hate you,” she mumbled, wiping tears from her eyes.

“Well, that’s embarrassing,” he said, eyes shining at her. “You didn’t even look at what I gave you, did you?”

Rey frowned a little. Vaguely, she remembered him pressing something small and warm into her palm. She had shoved it into her pack before continuing. “No…?”

Ben shook his head a little. “Don’t worry about it right now. We have time.” He wrinkled his nose. “I smell like a bacta tank,” he said.

Rey laughed a little. “Yeah, me too. Leia and Luke said they’d bring some food…” She looked around and indeed, a tray of fruits and bread sat on the table, with a pitcher of water. “Oh _stars_ ,” she breathed, standing making her way unsteadily over to it. She heard Ben get up and follow her. She sank into one of the chairs, and Ben did the same. They ate in silence for a long time.

Once she was full, Rey sat back with a sigh. Ben was looking drained. “You should get some sleep,” she said.

“I just woke up,” he grumbled at her.

“From a healing trance,” she said, going to his side and helping him up. “You need real sleep. I’ll go get cleaned up and I’ll come back, okay? Once you wake up you can do the same.”

“Bossy,” he mumbled, already half asleep by the time his head hit the pillow. Rey smiled softly at him, brushing hair out of his eyes before pressing a kiss to his forehead and leaving the cabin.

She did still feel a bit shaky, but overall much better than she had in days. It was dark but she didn’t think it was too late yet; people were still moving around the camp. Rey stopped by her old quarters to grab some clothes, then made her way to the hot springs. She sank into it with a sigh then got to work scrubbing the bacta from her skin. Ben was right; it wasn’t the nicest smell.

Rey froze when she heard giggling, but it was just Rose, Jessika, and a couple of the young women rescued from Hux’s ship. They all stopped when they saw her, and Rey gave an awkward smile and raised a hand in greeting.

“Rey!” Rose exclaimed. “You’re okay!” She crouched down next to the springs to talk to her. “The General wouldn’t tell us anything, just that you and Ben had been recovered and were healing.”

“We’re both okay,” Rey said. “He’s asleep right now but we’re both okay, I promise.”

“That’s good,” Rose said in relief. “Oh!” She stood up and motioned to the girls with them. “This is Anyanka, Beryl, and Oani.” The girls waved shyly. The oldest seemed to be in her early twenties, the other two were teens. “Luke has been training all of the people we rescued; the ones who want training, anyway.”

“Nice to meet you,” Rey said politely.

“I remember you,” Beryl said in a hushed voice. Her skin was deep, dark brown, her eyes big and nearly glowing in the low light. “You’re the one with the red sword.”

Rey thought back to the events after Ben tried to break the Bond. She hadn’t really been… there. She remembered scared, dirty faces, and using Ben’s saber to cut a hole in the floor. “Yes,” she said finally. “That was me. I’m sorry if I scared you.”

Beryl shook her head hurriedly. “No, it’s okay. Most of us had just – we’d never seen a Jedi before. We didn’t even know they were real.”

Rey smiled at her. “Well I don’t know if I’m that, but I’m definitely real.”

“C’mon,” Rose said, beginning to disrobe. The other girls followed suit and one by one, they sank into the springs.

Rey didn’t participate in much more conversation, but she listened to it with a contented sort of relaxation. It was nice to let their happy words wash over her like the hot water. Washing away the residual _wrongness_ of the assault on the Steadfast.

Rey finished up long before the others, and she got dressed and waved a goodbye to them, wanting to get back to Ben. She felt in her pack until she found something small and metallic. Frowning a little, she pulled it out. It was a ring; Rey stared at it, turning it over in her fingers. It wasn’t like the tracking ring; that had been shiny gold to mimic a wedding ring. This was a plain band, done in black and silver that had been melded together, striating the colors. It looked… handmade. Rey slipped it onto one of her fingers and her face twisted in confusion. It was far, far too big for her. She shrugged and shoved it back into the pack, heading for the cabin.

Ben was still asleep when she got back. He was pressed against the wall, leaving one side of the bed open for her. She grinned and slid under the covers, pressing herself back against him. His arm went around her right away, and she fell asleep, warm and held.

Rey blinked against the sun in her eyes. She was alone in bed and when she sat up, she saw Ben sitting at the table, leaned back in his chair, feet on the table and reading a book, idly eating breakfast. He was freshly washed, hair still a little damp, curling up as it dried. Rey sat up fully, sitting cross-legged on the bed. She reached for him in the Bond and to her delight, he was much stronger. It still wasn’t the full, powerful presence he’d been before, but it was so much better than she’d feared.

“I can feel that,” he said without looking up at her.

“What are you reading?” she asked.

Ben met her eyes then. “Did you know that my mother – the _actual General_ – reads romance novels?” He held up the book which had an admittedly ridiculous cover; something about smugglers and damsels. “Because _I_ certainly didn’t.” He tossed it on the table then let the chair legs fall to the floor, standing up.

Rey stood as well, and they met each other in the middle, Ben wrapping his arms around her so tight she had trouble breathing. “I’m sorry,” he murmured against her hair. “I’m an idiot and I shouldn’t have tried to break the Bond.”

Rey shook her head, squeezing him tighter. “No, I know why you did it. It’s okay. I might have done the same thing.”

Rey pulled back and looked up at him, smiling. Ben stroked a hand down her hair and leaned in and her breath caught and all she could think was _yes, finally_ –

“Knock knock!” came Poe’s voice from the base of the tree.

Ben pulled back with a frustrated noise. “What do you want?” he snapped, turning over his shoulder to yell at Poe.

“The General wants to see you both,” Poe said. “It’s about Hux. Make sure you’re decent.” Poe sounded amused.

“We’re on our way.” Ben turned back to her with a sigh. “I hate him,” he said, pressing his forehead to Rey’s.

Rey laughed. “Liar,” she said warmly. “You like Poe. Admit it.”

Ben pulled back and pointed a finger at her. “Did Dameron tell you that? Because you can’t believe a word he says; he thinks everyone’s in love with him.”

“I’m sure you’ll make a very handsome couple,” Rey said with a grin.

Ben narrowed his eyes at her. “Traitor.” But he took her hand and led her to the basket, lowering them down so they could head into camp.

The camp was busy, but it didn’t have the same hurried, panicked activity it had before. Now everyone seemed so damn happy to be doing things like moving containers of food and fixing speeder bikes. The most stark difference was the way they all reacted to Ben. Gone was the fearful glances and conspicuous silences. People smiled at him now, nodded in greeting, called out his name and waved. Ben Solo was a hero. Rey realized she was staring up at him as they walked with an utterly besotted grin on her face and she forced herself to look a bit more serious. No need to act like a damsel from one of General Organa’s romance novels.

Poe met them at the entrance to the main building. “Hey there, lovebirds,” he said with a grin. Rey stepped forward and hugged him tightly, and for the first time, there was no jealousy or anger from Ben at all. She thought she felt actual fondness for Poe in his head.

_‘I knew it,’_ she crowed smugly in his head.

_‘Hush, you,’_ he replied.

When they broke apart, Poe tugged a lock of her hair. “You scared us there, Miss Jedi,” he said.

“I’m sorry,” she said, but he shook his head.

“I’m just glad you’re both okay.” He jerked his head. “C’mon; everyone’s in the conference room.”

Poe led them down the hall to the large, central chamber, a conference room that must have been used as war room in the previous conflict. When Rey saw Finn, she picked up her pace, and he ran to meet her halfway. He picked her up and spun her around, hugging her tightly. “Don’t _ever_ do that to me again,” he said with feeling.

“I promise,” she agreed. “Never again.”

He released her and reached out to shake Ben’s hand. “You look much better than the last time I saw you,” he said.

“That’s not saying much,” Ben said dryly. He clapped his free hand to Finn’s shoulder then stepped past them to his mother’s side, leaning down so she could press a hand to his cheek.

Luke patted a hand to Rey’s back, coming up beside her. “He’s already looking much better,” he said. “You’re doing well.”

“I don’t think I’m doing anything,” Rey said.

“You are.” Luke winked at her, then joined his family at the head of the holo-table. Ben reached for her and Rey joined them as well, taking his hand.

Leia stepped forward and the group fell silent. Rey looked around and realized that in addition to the original leaders, there were several people that she thought might be former Stormtroopers. “I’ve gathered you here to discuss the fate of Armitage Hux,” she said. Leia pressed some buttons and an image came up. Hux sat in a cage, looking ruffled and miserable.

Rey’s eyes went wide, and she looked up at Ben. _‘He’s alive?’_

_‘Yes,’_ Ben said. _‘The other Generals are dead, but I was able to knock him out and bring him in alive.’_

_‘Why?’_ Rey asked, but he shook his head at her, and she realized Leia was still talking.

“This will be the first action of our new society,” Leia said. “It’s something we must consider carefully. Armitage Hux has committed horrific crimes; but so have many of our own rank and file. Indeed, during the battle, a well-timed message from one of our own former Stormtroopers was the catalyst for several full battalions of troopers turning on their commanders. We’ve gained large numbers as a result, and we’ve offered them asylum and forgiveness. I propose that we offer the same to Hux.”

A murmur went through the crowd. Leia held up a hand. “I’m not saying we just let him go,” she assured them. “Even those we accepted into our ranks were watched carefully, assigned to trusted officers like Finn.” Rey saw Finn straighten up out of the corner of her eye. “But still, we gave them a chance to do better, to make amends. Some had more to atone for than others.” Ben shifted and Rey squeezed his hand. “It would be hypocritical of us not to offer the same to all prisoners of war.”

“I see what you’re saying,” Poe said slowly. “I don’t like it but you’re not wrong.”

“What are you proposing?” Ben asked.

“A trial would be public and humiliating; he would hate it,” the General said. “So, let’s give him a choice. He can choose exile; we send him to some far-flung region of space where he can spend the rest of his days working to better the lives of those who were harmed by his actions. No glory, no recognition; atonement for the sake of atonement. We would give him a different name and put him under the command of someone we trust and let him try to do better. And in return, he gets a chance at a new life. He could find friends, love, a family. It’s more than his victims ever had.”

“And if he refuses?” Rey asked, remembering his hands on her face and unable to work up the energy to hate him even for that.

“Then we have a trial,” Leia said. “Public and humiliating; we air out every bit of his dirty laundry. He can have the name-recognition he so desires; he will become a pariah. His name will become synonymous with the cowardly pursuit of power, even to one’s own destruction. A cautionary tale for children to tell around campfires.”

Rey stared at her. _‘Wow,’_ she said to Ben. _‘I see it now.’_

_‘What?’_ he asked.

_‘Darth Vader’s daughter.’_

Ben smiled a little, ducking his head. _‘You know, she’s a Queen too, technically.’_

The room was silent. Then Luke sighed. “Dear sister,” he said, turning to her. “I love it.”

“I knew you would,” she said smugly. _‘Oh, and there_ you _are,’_ Rey said.

_‘Hush, you,’_ he said.

“Alright; let’s put it to a vote. All in favor?” Leia smiled as everyone in the room raised their hands. “It’s decided then,” Leia said. “Who is going to deliver the good news to Hux?”

“I will,” Ben said immediately, letting go of Rey and stepping forward.

Leia nodded. “Alright. Anyone who wants to stick around and see what Hux says, pull up a chair.” To no one’s surprise, not a single person moved.

Ben refused a blaster; Hux was behind a force cage and had never been much of a fighter anyway. He’d been stripped of everything he had on him at the time of capture and left in a borrowed jumpsuit. He was no threat to anyone anymore.

Rey and Poe dragged a couch from against the wall to set it in front of the console, and they and Finn took up posts there. Rey curled her feet under her, taking the drink Poe passed her.

Leia spoke quietly to Ben near the door. Rey glanced over and Ben invited her into the Bond to listen. “Don’t antagonize him,” Leia said. “Present his options as neutrally as possible; he’ll try to bait you. You know he’ll talk about Rey. Don’t rise to it. He has nothing but words now.”

“I know,” Ben said softly.

“He has to make this choice without any influence from any of us, so no Force use, either.” Leia pressed a kiss to Ben’s cheek. “Good luck.”

Ben turned to leave, and Rey made to withdraw from his head. Ben grabbed on and held her. _‘Please stay,’_ he murmured.

_‘Of course.’_ She settled herself behind his eyes. The connection wasn’t as blown open as it had been before, and she found she could close it completely again if she wanted. It felt more stable than it had since before Crait.

Ben made his way to the brig; all the cells were empty save one. As the door slid open and Ben stepped inside, Hux sneered at him from his place on the bench in his cell. “Are you to be my executioner?” he asked. “You’re not even armed.”

“I’m not here to kill you, Hux,” Ben said mildly. “I’m here to talk.” He came to stand in front of the yellow-white shimmer of the force cage. “How are you feeling?”

“You shot me,” Hux snarled. “How do you think I feel?”

Ben shrugged. “You seem fine to me.”

“Look at yourself,” Hux said. “A pale imitation of your mongrel father. Are those _his_ clothes you’re wearing?”

Ben looked down at himself idly. “Of course not,” he said, looking back up at Hux. “Dad’s clothes wouldn’t fit me.”

Hux seemed frustrated that he wasn’t getting a rise out of Ben. “Say whatever it is you came to say, then leave me in peace.”

“Peace,” Ben mused. “That’s actually what I came here to talk to you about. Have you ever actually been at peace? Ever? In your entire life?”

Hux frowned at him. “What are you on about?”

Ben turned and grabbed a chair used for whoever was normally guarding Hux and dragged it over. He turned it and sat backwards, arms across the back of the chair. “I hope you’re smart enough to realize that you’ve lost,” Ben said, not unkindly. “Your fate is in the hands of the people you hate the most. They’ve made a decision and I’m here to deliver it.”

“Get it over with!” Hux snapped.

“You have a choice to make, Hux. The Resistance is willing to offer you the same chance they gave me, and Finn, and Kess, and all of the other defectors who’ve joined us.”

“Traitors,” Hux hissed.

Ben inclined his head. “Sure; traitors. The Resistance offered us the chance to atone for the harm we’d caused, and they’re offering you the same. If you accept, you’ll be exiled to an Outer Rim world, somewhere hit hard by the First Order’s atrocities. You’ll be placed under the command of a trusted member of the Resistance and put to work. No one but your commanding officer will know who you are. It’s a chance at a new life. You could even make a friend.” Ben smirked.

Hux narrowed his eyes. “And if I say no?”

Ben shrugged. “Then you’ll have your trial,” he said. “A public trial, broadcast across the galaxy; but keep in mind that execution is off the table. If you choose to go through with a trial, you will likely still be exiled, but this time, everyone will know your face. The Resistance will still keep you under their command, so you won’t be subjected to any angry mobs; you’d still work, but without the chance to live a real life.”

Hux stared at him, horrified. “How… _dare_ you,” he hissed. “This – this pack of mongrels, your traitorous mother, that scavenger whore, _none_ of them have the authority to-”

Ben leaned forward, and whatever Hux saw in his face made him flinch back and go silent. “You threatened to rape the woman I love,” Ben said quietly, voice even, almost conversational. “These are your only two options and believe me, they are a _kindness_ compared to what I wanted to do to you. That _scavenger whore_ is the only reason you’re still alive. If she hadn’t helped me understand mercy, you wouldn’t be here.”

Rey swallowed and sank into the couch a little, cheeks burning as she could feel eyes on her. “He _loves_ you,” Finn whispered in a sing-song voice.

“Shut up,” she hissed back.

“Hux did _what_?” Poe whispered. “Is this when he had you two in his quarters?”

“We’ll talk about it later,” she insisted.

Ben leaned back, body relaxing. He settled his arms on the back of the chair again and rested his chin on them. Hux stared at him, looking unsettled. “Take your time,” Ben said, closing his eyes.

They all waited with bated breath, eyes fixed on the holo-view of Hux. Ben waited him out, silent and still. Rey could hear him counting cards in his head. Hux looked around like a trapped animal, desperate for escape. He looked down at his hands, twisting them together in his lap.

“Exile.” It was so quiet that several of the watchers leaned forward.

Ben opened his eyes again and peered at Hux. “What was that?”

Hux’s jaw worked in frustration. “Exile,” he gritted out, teeth clenched.

Ben grinned. “Good choice.” He stood and turned to the holo-camera, giving a mock salute.

“Are they watching?!” Hux screeched indignantly.

“Only the leaders of the Resistance,” Ben said. “My traitorous mother, the scavenger whore, and a few others.”

The holo was the typical blue, but through Ben’s eyes, Rey could see the way Hux’s pale face went red and mottled with embarrassment.

“Better than the entire galaxy,” Ben said with a laugh. “Relax, Hux. You’ll be away from here as soon as we can arrange it. Have a nice day.”

“He’s good,” Poe said with admiration.

Ben came back a few minutes later to applause. Rey stood and nearly skipped to him, wrapping her arms around his neck. He hugged her back, then stood straight. “Where do you plan to send him?” he asked.

Leia looked at Luke, who shrugged. “Do we know anyone still in the Outer Rim?” he asked.

She tapped her fingers on the console. “Lando?”

Luke grinned. “Hux will hate that. It’s perfect.”

Leia nodded. “I’ll get in touch with him and arrange it.” Looking up at the group, she waved a hand. “Alright, show’s over. You’re dismissed.”

Ben squeezed Rey’s hand. “I want to talk to them about something,” he said, jerking his head towards the Skywalker twins. “Meet me in the cabin?”

“Of course.” She went up on her toes to press a kiss to his cheek then left them to talk. Rey left the main building, humming a bit to herself. She smiled and waved at people as they went by, people who addressed her by name. They knew her and they were glad to see her. That old military camp felt more like home than any place she’d ever been.

She made her way back to the cabin, passing through it to the balcony outside. She leaned on the railing and looked out over the trees. The smell of green on the warm air felt like it was clearing her mind of Hux’s filth.

She didn’t have to wait long; less than half an hour later, she could feel Ben approaching, a warm happiness in his mind. Rey stepped back inside the cabin in time to see him enter. She stood there, twisting her hands together, suddenly nervous. “Hi,” she said, giving him a brittle smile.

“Hi,” he said back. He moved closer, sliding his hands onto her hips. He peered down at her. “Are you okay?” he asked softly.

Rey took a deep breath and let it out slowly. “Yes. No,” she shook her head. “No, I don’t mean no, I just-” She cringed. “It’s just that I’ve never done this before,” she said in a rush.

Ben’s eyes darkened a bit, but he smirked at her. “Done what?” he asked, voice innocent.

Rey poked him in the chest. “You know exactly what I mean, Ben Solo.”

He leaned closer, face inches from hers. “Do I?” he said, voice low. “Say it.”

Rey winced. “I – I’ve never.” She sighed sharply. “I’ve never had sex with anyone before,” she said firmly, not meeting his eyes.

Ben huffed a laugh, but when she met his eyes, they were liquid dark and shining at her. “As always, your mental image of me is very flattering,” he said. “I’m not sure when you think I would’ve had the chance, but I’ve never been with anyone either.” He went slowly to his knees, looking up at her. “I’ve got a lot of ideas, though.” His hands began to undo her belt, and Rey let out a shaky breath, her hands on his shoulders to steady herself.

“ _Stars_ , I love you,” he breathed, looking up at her like she was something extraordinary.

“I love you, too,” she murmured, and felt through the Bond what the words did to him. He was picturing a vast array of things that made her cheeks burn red.

Ben got her belt and top layer off, then opened her shirt and pressed his mouth to her stomach. Rey gasped as he kissed her skin, mouthing his way up between her breasts as he slowly stood. As soon as he was at her level, he captured her mouth in a kiss, sliding his hands under her shirt and around her back. Rey slid her fingers into his hair, gripping hard. Ben moved them back a bit, towards the bed, but he seemed to get impatient and started tugging at her clothes. “Get these off,” growled against her mouth.

Rey laughed breathlessly and stepped back from him, her own hands more skillfully undoing her clothes, allowing her to step out of them. Ben watched intently the whole time, and she blushed red under his scrutiny. The moment she tossed her clothes aside, standing nude in front of him, he reached for her.

She held up a hand. “Your turn,” she said, pointing at him and motioning with her finger to his clothes.

Ben looked down at himself, seemingly surprised by the request. “Oh… right.” He tugged this shirt off, and Rey grinned at the mess it made of his hair. He kicked off his boots and stepped out of his trousers, kicking them away. Rey’s eyes travelled down and… widened a little. Ben didn’t give her time to admire though. He grabbed her again, lifting her up so she was forced to wrap her legs around his waist.

Ben kissed her again, then stepped back, sitting down heavily on the bed, keeping Rey in his lap. Rey moved her hips, feeling the slide of his cock against her cunt, wet and hot. Ben shuddered and held her hips still. “Stop that,” he said breathlessly.

She grinned down at him. “I thought that was the point?”

“Not yet.” Ben kissed her again, distracting her so that she didn’t see his hands moving. She gasped against his mouth when his fingers slid across her cunt. His other arm wrapped around her lower back, keeping her close.

“ _Ben_ ,” she murmured, moving her hips against his hand.

“Look at you,” he breathed, eyes on her face. His thumb found her clit and she jolted in his arms, then melted as he began running in circles, the tips of his fingers dipping into her.

She tried to force him to speed up, but he held her still, making her go at his pace. Every move of his fingers made something in her twist tighter, and she began to feel desperate and shaky. “Ben, please,” she whined.

Ben’s fingers slid inside her and her hands clenched in his hair. “Yes,” she breathed. He still wouldn’t let her move, but his fingers moved for her, stroking inside like he knew exactly how to make her body do what he wanted it to do. Her head tilted to the side, and she thought he might be using the Force to do that, feeling her hair slide off her neck to expose it to him. His mouth pressed his mouth to her neck, sending shivers and goosebumps all down her side. She was close, she could feel it. Just a little more, if she could just move her hips –

Rey made a noise of protest as Ben’s hand left her completely. “What-?” She broke off as he shifted her hips, and she felt the head of his cock pressing against her. “Yes,” she breathed again, relaxing against him.

“If it hurts,” he began, looking concerned despite the rough, barely concealed desire in his voice.

“Shut up,” Rey hissed. She moved her hips and the head of his cock slipped in just a bit. They both frozen and stared at each other, eyes wide and panting.

Then, slowly, Ben took hold of her hips and began to press her down, sliding himself inside her. Rey let the Bond open and she could feel it from his side too, the tight heat of her, how hard he was trying to control himself. He wanted to press her to the bed and fuck into her with no care for how hard or fast he went. But he also wanted to see her ruined and melting in his hands.

She was so distracted by Ben’s thoughts that when he bottomed out inside her, she shuddered and blinked, startled. Rey stroked her hands over his hair, leaning in to kiss him. He could barely focus enough to kiss her, his mouth open and wet against hers, his fingers digging into her hips so hard his knuckles were white. “Move,” she murmured against his mouth, and his hips snapped up to obey.

There was no pain for Rey; if there had been, the pleasure ricocheting between them through the Bond would have drown it out. The twist that had been building inside her doubled, and she trembled against Ben, moving her hips in a poor rhythm against him. He mouthed at her neck again, sucking a mark into it as one big hand forced its way between them. His fingers fumbled at her clit, sliding against it and Rey’s orgasm hit her without warning. Her whole body seized up then shuddered, the feel of her cunt squeezing Ben’s cock drawing it out, and it lasted so long she wondered if it would stop.

It did eventually subside, and she was left shaking like a leaf, curled into Ben’s chest where he held her still. When she reached through the Bond, she could feel his iron control on his own libido; he was so close. She pulled back enough to press a kiss to his mouth and whisper, “Fuck me.”

Ben’s eyes met hers with a look of shock, then Rey felt herself lifted into the air. Ben slid his cock out of her and dropped her onto her back on the bed. Before she could get her bearings, he was sliding inside her again, thrusting so hard the bed shook. Rey wrapped her arms around his back and held on, letting his pleasure through the Bond wind her up unnaturally fast.

“Ben,” she choked out, voice shuddering with his thrusts. “I love you, I love you so much, Ben-”

Her voice cut off as Ben’s hips slammed into her one final time and his orgasm overtook her, forcing her into a second climax. They shook together as the windows of the cabin rattled and several books toppled off the counters and table.

Like the first one, it went on for what felt like ages, the feedback loop of the Bond prolonging it. Finally, Rey felt Ben shut down the Bond enough to let their bodies relax, Ben collapsing on top of her with a rush of breath. He moved after just a moment so that he wasn’t crushing her with his weight, wrapping his arms around her and holding her close. Rey draped her leg over his hip, keeping him inside her as long as she could.

They lay there for along minutes, breath slowing and sweat cooling on their skin. Finally, Ben’s softened cock slipped out of her and Rey sighed, turning to lay on her back. She stared at the ceiling, mind wonderfully blank.

“Who needs experience when you have a Force Bond,” Ben said, voice a breathless croak but with a tone of smugness.

Rey laughed, voice cracking with it. She cleared her throat. “Well, I’ve been reliably informed you’re good with _everything_.”

Ben smiled and she could feel it through the Bond, even as she saw the way his eyes crinkled, and his dimples showed. Rey rolled over and tucked herself against his chest, his arm around her. He pressed a kiss to her hair and closed his eyes. Rey traced her fingers across his chest, thinking idly. “Oh,” she murmured. “I found the thing you gave me on the Steadfast.” She sat up, then leaned over him to her clothes. She rummaged through them and came up with the ring. “I’m sorry, but it doesn’t fit me,” she said, showing him how big it was on her.

Ben sat up with her, taking her hand and sliding the ring off. Then, he slid the ring onto his own left ring-finger, where it fit perfectly. Rey tilted her head, confused. Ben leaned over and grabbed his own trousers, pulling another ring out the pocket. “This one’s yours,” he said, taking her hand and sliding it onto her finger. It wasn’t black and silver like his, it was gold, and clearly professionally made. The stone sent into it was raw and uncut, and she could swear it was humming at her.

“What is it?” she asked, touching the stone with her finger.

“It’s a kyber crystal,” Ben said. “That’s my mother’s wedding ring.”

Rey closed her hand over it. She looked up at him, his earnest, handsome face. Rey grinned. “Does this mean we’re married now?”

“I don’t know,” he said with a laugh. “I’ve never been to a wedding. I think we’re supposed to sign something.”

Rey’s smile softened and she leaned in to kiss him. “It can wait until morning,” she murmured against his mouth.

“At least,” he agreed, pressing her back on to the bed.

THE END

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you all so much for reading this story. It's only the third thing I've written in years, and it might actually be the longest thing I've ever written. 
> 
> I might write a short companion piece with some of Ben's side of things; I know I said these last two chapters might take some time but frankly this story has had me by the throat since I started it and it just wouldn't let me rest until I finished it.
> 
> Also, I couldn't find the time to slip it into the story but Ben's ring is fashioned out of the pieces of both his Kylo Ren helmet and the hilt of Luke's broken lightsaber - silver and black. He used the Force to bend them together to form it, because he's a sentimental fool.
> 
> The romance novel Ben's reading is called The Scoundrel and The Princess and it's absolutely a thinly-veiled fan-fiction about his parents' own whirlwind romance. He will be very embarrassed when he realizes this.


	8. Ben + Epilogue

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A series of non-linear snapshots of Ben’s time with the Resistance during the events of On Blood-Red Salt + an epilogue

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I know the main story is finished but I wanted to get some of Ben's voice into the story. This section is non-linear, but you should be able to place each one into the events of On Blood-Red Salt. The epilogue takes place 7 months after the end of the main story.

“Why are you here?” Poe’s voice was casual, but Ben could hear the steel behind it.

Ben kept his eyes on his cards. “Does it matter?” he asked flatly.

“Yeah, it does.” Ben did look up then, to see Poe staring at him over his own cards, calculating. “I’d like to know if I should be planning Rey’s funeral any time soon.”

Ben gripped his cards until the plasteel squeaked in his hands. He swallowed down the urge to yell or attack. “I’m not going to hurt her.”

“Again,” Poe said. “You’re not going to hurt her _again_.”

Ben nodded, accepting that. “I’m not gonna hurt you, either.”

Poe fiddled with his cards, watching Ben, who felt himself shrinking a little under the scrutiny. “She really did a number on you, didn’t she?”

Ben’s mouth twisted. “You have… _no_ idea,” he said with feeling.

Poe set down one of his cards. “Okay,” he said, his decision apparently made.

“Okay?” Ben asked.

Poe nodded. “Yeah. Could have been worse; could have been Hux.”

Ben’s mouth curled into a smile against his will and he ducked down behind his cards again. He set a card down and Poe swore. “How are you _doing_ that?”

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Ben had instinctively reeled back at the image of ten-year-old Rey finding the nice old man dead, the one who had given her a skin of water when she hadn’t found any parts that day. Ben was no stranger to death, but he could feel the little girl’s fear and grief at the sight of an adult she trusted, one she thought of as a friend, with worms in his skin.

It got worse though. Seeing his father through her eyes, then himself, the stark contrast. Han Solo was so nice to her. He treated her like an equal, capable and intelligent. He _liked_ her. Of course he did; reckless, Force-sensitive adrenaline junkies were his favorite kind of people.

Ben, on the other hand, had terrified her. She thought of him as a beast, a monster from the dark parts of space. She was more afraid of him after he’d taken off the mask, because he looked like a person, and that was worse. Because she knew what men were capable of.

He gave up fighting the onslaught of her mind after his mother’s eulogy for his father. He just stopped resisting. _He_ put that look on his mother’s face. He deserved whatever Rey was going to do to him.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Ben woke up in a room he didn’t recognize, with a presence at his side that he very much did. He opened his eyes then closed them again, pressing as hand to his face. He didn’t want to look at her.

“Ben?” she said gently.

He made a non-committal noise and did not move his hand away.

“Do you want to explain to me why Rey is experiencing your nightmares?”

Ben lowered his hand and finally, finally, looked at his mother. She looked very tired, and that was his fault. “She what?” he croaked, and Leia motioned for him to sit up. He did so, and she handed him a cup of water.

“You entered a healing trance,” she said. “And after about an hour, Rey collapsed in the mess hall. I had to force her into a healing trance herself. When I did, I saw that she was dreaming about you. But it wasn’t her dream, was it?”

Ben felt sick, and he sipped the water wondering if he was going to throw up on his mother’s shoes. What a reunion. “We told you about the Bond,” he said, avoiding her eyes.

“You did,” Leia agreed. “I guess I didn’t think… well. Regardless, she’s alright.”

“I can’t even keep from hurting her when I’m unconscious,” he said bitterly.

“Neither of you chose this Bond, Ben,” Leia said gently. “It’s not your fault.”

They may not have chosen it, but Ben had reveled in it, encouraged it. He _wanted_ it. Not that he could tell the General that. He finished the water and set aside the cup, heaving himself up out of bed.

Leia sat back, looking up at him from her seat in a chair by the cot. “I’ve found some clothes for you – it wasn’t easy – and I can have a room made up-”

“No,” he cut her off harshly, then sighed. “I mean, thank you for the clothes,” he amended formally. “I’ll find my own place to sleep. I don’t think people will be comfortable with me just… among them.”

Leia acknowledged that with a nod. She poked a bag at the foot of the bed with her walking stick. “I had a feeling,” she said. “So I had a bag packed for you. Just don’t go too far, okay?”

He leaned down and lifted the pack, slinging it on his shoulder with a slow reverence it probably didn’t deserve. He hadn’t seen her in so long and she still knew him so well. “I won’t,” he agreed.

Leia lifted her hand and then stopped herself; it was clearly an instinctive gesture. Ben hesitated, then reached his own hand out and brushed the back of his fingers across hers. He yanked his hand back as if burned, then strode out of the room before he could sink any further into pathetic sentimentality. He could still hear Snoke’s voice in his head calling him an emotional fool.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Ben watched Rey sleep. This girl had wreaked havoc in his mind, torn him apart on a salt-covered battlefield, and now she twitched in her dreams, looking younger than he’d ever seen her. She really _was_ young, a good decade his junior. Did that make everything worse? Probably.

He sat on the floor of his little cubby, the room he’d claimed on the Millennium Falcon more than twenty years ago. Memories crawled out of the walls, threatening to choke him. Ben shifted onto his knees, moving closer to Rey. He reached out and gently, carefully moved a lock of hair that had fallen across her face, tucking it back behind her ear. His eyes roamed over her face, drinking in every detail. She had freckles. Not the kind he had, bold and with no pattern, but a lovely dusting across her nose and cheekbones.

He thought back to the horrible, possessive way he’d looked at her in the interrogation room. She was right to be afraid of him. He didn’t deserve the trust she was showing in him, falling asleep with him like this.

Rey whimpered in her sleep and Ben jerked back, afraid he’d done something. But she didn’t wake, just shifted around. His eyes slid down the length of her, and he watched her move, watched the way her legs pressed closed, and her thighs rubbed together –

The ship dropped suddenly out of hyperspace and Ben jolted guiltily. He took a deep breath then let it out slowly and reached out to wake her up.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Ben’s hands carefully worked the black and silver metal around each other, using the Force to slowly bend the rigid material into shape. It was strange, being in his head now. He felt like two different people, even without Rey’s mind in his. He was Ben Solo, tentatively accepted member of the Resistance, Rey’s teacher and friend. Her lover, maybe, one day, when all this was over and done. Her husband, if he had any say in it.

But beneath that was Kylo Ren, whose voice sounded like Snoke’s and while it was getting quieter, it never seemed to go away completely. It was always worse when Ben’s insecurities matched Kylo’s. _What makes you think she could ever want you?_ Kylo/Snoke’s voice slithered through his mind as he worked. _Look at your hands. Look at the blood on them. You think she’ll let you touch her with those hands?_

Ben growled. _Rey trusts me,_ he told the voice.

_Do you think she’s capable of loving a thing like you?_ the voice continued, undaunted. _You think there is love here? This is lust, boy. She will use you like a workhorse to satiate her curiosity, and then discard you for a man who hasn’t murdered his own father. A man like the traitor Finn, or that Poe Dameron._

_Finn and Poe are together,_ Ben argued _. They’re not interested in Rey and she isn’t interested in them._

_You’re lying to yourself._ The voice was silky now, knowing. _Don’t you remember the look on her face in that interrogation room? She thought you were going to rape her. What makes you think she’d let you touch her now? Nothing has changed. You’re not in love; you want to possess her. Your desires are unnatural; they’re_ disgusting _. Open your eyes, boy._

Ben’s hands were starting to shake, the voice was right, he was a fool, what did he think he was doing? Fashioning his own wedding ring when Rey had never expressed any kind of – he was an idiot, a sick, disgusting mongrel who –

Rey’s mind was like a wave of cool water over a burn and it soothed the panic rising in him. She was annoyed by something, muttering about it in her head, and he loved her more than he hated himself.

“Do you hear that?” she asked as she arrived.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

“Hey!”

Ben sighed harshly and ignored the voice, turning a page in his book.

“Hey? Knock knock! Mr. Solo?”

Ben let the front legs of his chair clatter to the floor and he stood, stomping over to the door. He leaned out over the railing to see FN – no, _Finn_ at the bottom of the tree. “Did you just call me _Mr. Solo_?” Ben asked, annoyed.

Finn rolled his eyes. “Jeez, what is it with you people and names? What the hell do you want me to call you?”

Ben swallowed the ‘I want you to leave me alone’ that rose to his tongue, and instead replied reluctantly, “You can call me Ben.”

“Fine, cool, great, _Ben_ ,” Finn said. “I want to talk to you.”

“No,” Ben said, and went to lean back.

“ _Yes_ ,” came Finn’s voice, and Ben was so surprised by it that he leaned forward again, looking at him curiously.

“…fine,” he said after a moment. He pulled back and lowered the basket for Finn.

Ben stepped back as the basket met the balcony and Finn stumbled out of it, looking back at the rickety thing like it had insulted his mother. He was so expressive. His face, his eyes, everything was there in vivid detail. How had he survived as a Stormtrooper?

Ben crossed his arms and leaned against the balcony railing, watching Finn take in their surroundings. “Wow,” Finn said. “Rey wasn’t kidding; this place is incredible.” He turned to Ben and Ben watched his face do a number of very interesting things before he settled on trying to look serious and formal. He failed, because he had a face made for smiling, and anything less looked wrong. “I want to talk to you.”

“You already said that,” Ben said impatiently. He waved a hand. “Go on, then.”

Finn’s hands twisted together in front of him, and Ben wondered if he had picked that up from Rey or if Rey had picked that up from him. “Some of the defectors that have been arriving want to meet you,” he said.

Ben’s face clouded over. “No,” he said, and turned to head into the cabin.

“Wait-” Finn followed him in, dropping the serious act. “Listen – c’mon, stop-” Finn reached out and grabbed Ben’s arm, yanking him around to face him.

Ben stared at Finn in shock and annoyance, and he watched as Finn realized what he’d just done. Finn stared up at Ben, then down at his hand. Then, interestingly, his face hardened. He pulled on Ben’s arm again, and Ben let him, let Finn pull him until they faced each other fully. Only then did he release Ben’s arm. “Listen,” Finn said. “I know you’re got your fortress of solitude up here and there’s really only one person you want anything to do with, but a lot of these people are here because of you.”

Ben frowned at him. “What do you mean?” he asked cautiously.

Finn threw out his hands. “Ben, you were Kylo Ren, Snoke’s second in command, and you _turned_. Can you imagine what that did to morale? To our recruitment numbers? A random trooper like me defecting? That can be dismissed as bad programming. But you?” He gave a helpless shrug. “It made them reevaluate. Let them see people can change, even if they feel like they’ve gone too far.”

Ben stared at him, stunned. “…oh,” he finally said, lamely.

“Yeah,” Finn sighed. “So, I was hoping you’d talk to them. You know? They could use the reassurance.”

Ben’s jaw worked and his hands started to shake. All he would do was disappoint them, he wasn’t a hero, he wasn’t a role model, he was a murderer and they would –

“Sorry,” Finn said, surprisingly gently. Ben looked at him with wet eyes. “It’s fine. I get it.” He turned and headed towards the door.

Ben fought with himself for a moment. “Finn?”

Finn turned in the doorway, waiting.

Ben fidgeted, clenching his hands together to stop the shaking. “I can’t do it,” he said, voice breaking. “Not in person. But maybe you can give them a message? From me?”

Finn nodded slowly. “Okay. Go ahead.”

Ben paced back and forth for a moment. “Tell them – that I can’t be with them in person because I’m training Rey, and it’s very important work,” he said. “And that-” he stopped and met Finn’s eyes. “That they did the right thing. And I’m glad they’re here.”

Finn smiled at him, and Ben experienced the rare feeling of knowing with complete certainty that he’d done something right. “I’ll do that; see you later, Ben.” He headed back out, and Ben could hear him swearing at the basket on his way down.

Ben stood in the middle of his cabin for a long moment, then made an exasperated noise. Did Finn have to be so damn _likable_?

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Ben watched everyone file out, watched Luke and Leia’s heads bend together to speak. Were they even talking out loud? Did they need to? He took a step forward. Then another. Why was he so nervous? Ben cleared his throat and when they looked up at him, he gave an awkward little wave, then winced. What was _wrong_ with him?

“Ben,” Leia said. “Are you okay? You seem…”

“Shifty,” Luke supplied.

“Shut up,” Leia said without looking at him.

The smile Luke directed her way was painfully fond and familiar. Things were not perfect between Ben and Luke but watching the way the siblings interacted softened Ben’s opinion of his uncle. It was hard to find the energy to hate someone who loved Leia Organa as much as Luke Skywalker did.

“I uh – I wanna ask you something – tell you something?” Ben winced again.

“Oh stars,” Luke said. “Who’s pregnant?”

Ben’s face paled and Leia smacked Luke on the arm. “Would you knock it _off_ , you old smartass?” Luke chuckled, clearly pleased with needling Ben. She looked back at her son. “Ben, please just-”

“I want to ask Rey to marry me,” Ben said in a rush, the words blurring together.

The Skywalker twins… stared at him. Ben spread his hands in a ‘ta-dah!’ motion. “Please say something,” he said finally, fear creeping into his voice.

“I think that’s a wonderful idea,” Leia said slowly, sounding like she was speaking very carefully. “Rey is a wonderful girl and it’ll be a really – a really wonderful-”

“Please stop saying ‘wonderful’,” Ben said, a little desperately.

Leia sighed. “I’m sorry, Ben.” She rubbed a hand over her face then looked at Luke.

Luke was staring at Ben when he felt Leia’s eyes on him. He did a double take, then stared at her instead. “Why are you looking at me?” he hissed. “Of the two of us, _you_ have far more experience in this arena, _Mrs_. Solo.”

Leia sighed again. Ben’s chest was starting to ache because this wasn’t the reaction he was expecting. “Do you… not want me to?” he asked, voice very quiet and very small.

Leia’s eyes went wide, and then her face softened. No longer the General, just his mother. “No, Ben, that’s-” She flapped a hand at Luke. “Go away.”

Luke raised his hands in surrender. “Going away, on my General’s orders.” They waited until he’d left the room, then Leia went to Ben and took his hands in hers.

“Sit with me,” she said, drawing him over to the couch Rey, Finn, and Poe had vacated. They sat down and Ben clutched at his mother’s hands, suddenly terrified that she was going to tell him all the reasons he and Rey shouldn’t be together.

“Ben,” Leia said gently. “I want nothing more than to stand at your wedding and watch you marry that girl.” Ben met her eyes, painful hope blossoming in his chest. “Please don’t mistake my hesitance for disapproval. It’s not. It’s just-” she sat back, gathering her words. “You have to understand,” she continued. “Before Rey brought you back, I’d – I’d given up hope, Ben.” Her eyes filled with tears that did not fall. “I thought you were lost to me forever and I had given up on ever having a son again. My deepest hope was just to see you again, it never even occurred to me that I could hope you would fall in love and get married, live the life I had wanted for you, it all just seemed so… impossible. I’m – I’m sorry I had no faith in you.”

“No,” Ben said, choked against tears he refused to let fall. “No, M-Mom, you - you waited for me, _so much longer_ than I deserved.”

“Maybe so,” Leia said. “But it wasn’t long enough.”

The two sat in silence for a long time, neither one willing to speak until they could do so without their voices shaking. If Ben was too serious, too stoic, at least he came by it honestly. Leia Organa did not let people see her cry.

“Do you have a ring?”

Ben looked at her, surprised. “Um… no,” he admitted, embarrassed. “Not for Rey.”

Leia thought about that for a moment. Then she reached into the neck of her tunic and pulled out a thin chain. She unclasped it from her neck and held it up, letting the ring it was threaded through fall into her palm. “Here,” she said, holding it out to him. “This hasn’t fit these arthritic fingers in a long time. But I bet it’ll fit her perfectly.”

Ben took the ring reverently. “Kyber crystal?” he asked in a hushed voice.

Leia nodded. “Luke found that piece while he was gathering them for his own work,” she said. “He gave it to Han to give to me. Han and I were already married by then; we didn’t exchange rings at our wedding. But I treated this one as my wedding ring.”

“Thank you,” Ben said with feeling.

Leia patted his cheek. “Now that we’re all weepy and talking about family heirlooms,” she said, “we might want to discuss what happens to the Falcon.”

Ben stared at her. “What do you mean?”

“Han left it to you in his will.”

Ben stared into the middle distance, absorbing that. He took a deep breath, then said, “Rey is going to kill me for this – I think Chewie should have it.”

Leia grinned and there it was again, the certainty that he’d done something right. It was a nice feeling, one he was slowly becoming addicted to. Making the people he loved happy was more rewarding than any battle he’d ever won.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

The hatch of Ben’s old ship shut with a finality that he felt in his soul. He knew the instant he’d tried to break the Bond that it was absolutely the wrong choice, he could feel the wrongness of it in his bones, but it was too late now. If he survived this, he could beg Rey’s forgiveness. If he died, then maybe it wouldn’t hurt her as much.

Ben checked his gun and stepped forward. One of the General gathered around turned and saw him. “Trai-!” he snarled, then choked as Ben shot him.

Hux huddled over the controls as the other three Generals drew their weapons. Ben holstered the gun and went right for the closest one, grappling with the collapsible staff the man had flicked open; Hux may have been a desk-bound weasel, but these men had combat training. They were also smart enough not to start shooting wildly.

It was close quarters, but Ben wrestled the staff away from him, then snapped his neck with a flick of his wrist. It felt wrong to use the Force like that again, but what choice did he have?

The other three came at him at once, and Ben lost himself in the battle. His mind went peacefully, purely blank and he let his body do what it always seemed to want to do. He let himself _fight_.

He came back to himself as he had the third General on the ground, choking him with his bare hands. Just as the life faded from the man’s eyes, a blaster bolt hit Ben in the side. He jolted and turned, then saw the half-dead man that had shot him. With a flick of his wrist, Ben broke his neck too. Then he turned his eyes to Hux, who cowered back against the control console. The ship wasn’t moving.

Ben made a pained noise and forced himself to stand. He could feel blood pouring down his side in a worrying way. “Hux,” he said through gritted teeth.

“Is this it?” Hux sneered, trying to look brave but failing miserably. “Is this where you kill me?”

Ben raised his gun, Hux’s gun, and pointed it at him. “I should,” he said. “I should burn the flesh off your hands for daring to touch her.”

Hux stared at him. “Wh-what? The girl? Is that what you’re upset about?”

Ben pressed his free hand to his side. “No,” he said. “Well, yes, but-” he winced at a flash of pain but gritted his teeth and continued, “but there’s a lot you have to answer for. And you will.” He shot Hux in the leg, and the man crumpled, unused to pain. Ben limped over to him and grabbed his shoulders, dragging him away from the console. He cuffed Hux to one of the chairs, outside the reach of anything useful, and patted him down for good measure. 

“What are you doing?” Hux gasped. “Why aren’t you killing me?”

“Because you don’t deserve to escape,” Ben said. Then he punched him in the face, knocking him out cold.

Ben’s head swam and he knew he was losing a lot of blood, too much, too fast. He fumbled his way to the console and in his haze of pain and blood loss, he typed in a very old emergency code he’d memorized as a child.

“Ben?” came his mother’s voice over the speakers, immediately.

“Mom?” he said, voice a shadow of his normal timbre. “Please come get me.” And then he collapsed backwards, hands sliding across the console, fingers leaving long, bloody trails on the black surface.

The next voice he heard was a man’s voice, and it stirred a weird sort of fond annoyance in him. “C’mon, stay with me, pal,” the voice was saying. Ben’s body was jarred, and he groaned at the flash of pain in his side. “That’s it,” the voice continued. “C’mon buddy, open those big brown eyes for me. Ben Solo, I swear on your mother’s-”

Ben groaned again and he forced his eyes open. His head was in Poe Dameron’s lap, and the man was shaking him, pressing a hand against the wound in his side. “Why… are you calling me that?” Ben managed.

“Calling you what?” Poe asked, exasperated.

“Buddy,” Ben croaked. “Pal.”

Poe shook him again, harder. “Because we’re _friends_ , you stupid, self-righteous, reckless, death-seeking, emotionally constipated _asshole_. I hate you. Don’t die. If you make your mother cry, I’ll kill you.”

Ben sank back into unconsciousness then, even as he felt himself lifted onto a gurney. But even through the blood-loss he thought maybe Poe was telling the truth, and he cared whether Ben died. Maybe Ben Solo had friends.

EPILOGUE

Ben touched down on the planet’s surface, in a respectable dock where they would be charged actual docking fees. Their ship – his and Rey’s – was a former smuggler’s vessel called the Ebon Hawk. It was smaller than the Falcon but easier to maintain – not that Rey would ever admit it. She had never quite forgiven him for giving away the Falcon, even if she agreed it was the right choice. He shut down the ship then stood, heading back into the main room. Rey was there, on her knees, digging through a case of clothes.

“Rey?” He leaned against the doorway, amused. “What are you doing?”

She jumped up, looking flustered. “Oh – how do I look?” She spread her arms out.

“The same as you always look,” Ben said as he approached her. Her face fell. “Beautiful. Radiant. Gorgeous-”

“Oh, shut up,” she snapped at him, waving a dismissive hand and going back to her pile of clothes.”

“Rey!” he laughed. “What are you _doing_?”

Rey stood and faced him again, a dress she had literally never worn clutched her in hands. “Every time I meet another one of your family, I just get so _nervous_ , I mean what if they don’t like me? We’re already married, it’s not like you can just – just take me back to the shop, and I know you’re not related, but you call him your Uncle and Leia talks about him like he’s just the dreamiest man in the galaxy and he’s going to think that I’m just some-”

“Woah, woah,” Ben took hold of Rey’s arms, drawing her in for a hug. “Who have you been talking to? Lando is really not that impressive.”

“Just Leia,” she said, voice muffled against his chest. “And maybe Luke.”

Ben rolled his eyes. “Luke was a teenager with a case of hero worship,” he said, pulling back to look at her. “You should never listen to anything Luke says. _Ever_.”

She nodded, taking a couple deep breaths. “Okay. Right. Of course.”

“Besides, you’re Rey Solo, the hero of the Resistance,” Ben said. “If anything, you’re more of a legend than he is.”

Rey bit her lip. “Really?”

“ _Yes_ ,” Ben said. “And please don’t wear that dress, it was my mother’s, and I have enough of a complex as it is.”

Rey laughed and shoved him away. “I should give it to Beryl,” she said.

“Yes, you should,” he said meaningfully.

“Fine, fine.” She tossed the dress back onto the pile of clothes. “Let’s go meet the famous Uncle Lando.”

The two left the ship and Ben paid the docking attendant waiting for them. He draped an arm over Rey’s shoulders, and they made their way out of the small port and into the city.

It was more of a village really, a bit dusty but friendly and bright, with cheerful people of innumerable races going about their lives. Ben and Rey wandered through the market district slowly, taking in the sights. Rey occasionally ducked away to get a closer look at something in a stall, and once came back with a little green jade figurine. Ben wasn’t sure what it was supposed to be, but Rey said it was good luck. “We can put it on the console in the Hawk,” she said.

Ben pressed a kiss to her hair and didn’t say anything. She could paint the whole interior pink for all he cared; not that she ever would. Anything that made her happy.

“Hey!” came a cheerful friendly voice that pinged in the back of Ben’s memories. He turned and saw Lando Calrissian, older but no less handsome, waving at them from across the marketplace.

“C’mon,” Ben said, taking Rey’s hand and leading her over there. Lando met them halfway and enveloped Ben in a rib-crushing hug.

“Look at you, kid,” Lando said as they pulled back. “Hell, you got tall. And look at that hair.” He flicked a lock of Ben’s hair into his eyes.

Ben laughed. “Gotta do something to hide the ears,” he said, running a hand through his hair, pushing it back from his face. He was scruffier now, longer hair, and he hadn’t shaved in a while. Then he turned and held a hand out to Rey, who took it in both of hers and stepped forward, giving a nervous smile. “Lando, this is my wife, Rey Solo,” he said. “Rey, this is Lando Calrissian.”

“Hello,” she said with a smile, and Lando smiled winningly at her.

“She is way outta your league, kid,” he said, taking Rey’s hand and kissing it. “You got your dad’s ambition.”

“Yep,” Ben said dryly, and it didn’t even hurt anymore, the constant comparisons. He was his father’s son.

“It’s nice to meet you, Rey,” Lando said. “Luke told me all about you.”

“He did?” she asked, surprised.

“He did,” the man confirmed. “Greatest student he ever had. No offense,” he added at Ben.

Ben shrugged. “None taken; I’m a terrible student.” His eyes searched around the marketplace and – there.

A few stalls down, hunched in on himself, stood a tall, slim man with red hair and pale skin that had gone ruddy in the sun. Lando followed Ben’s gaze. “How about I take your lovely wife on a tour of the marketplace and you… do some catching up?”

Ben looked back to them. “Yeah,” he said. “I’ll do that.” He leaned down and kissed Rey, who said through the Bond, _‘Be nice.’_

_‘I’m always nice,’_ he responded. With a nod at Lando, Ben turned and headed towards the fallen General Hux.

“I can see you coming,” Hux said when he was a few paces away. His voice was sullen, his posture defeated. He looked utterly miserable.

“You look good,” Ben said with a smirk.

“Shut up,” Hux said, but any real venom was gone from his voice. “Less than a year and you’re checking up on me?”

“Actually, I’m here on business,” Ben said. Hux turned then, looking almost interested. “My wife and I run important goods and information to our outposts on the Outer Rim and bring back news, reports, and anything useful.”

Hux stared at him. “You and that scav-”

“My _wife_ ,” Ben repeated firmly.

Hux scoffed, but more in disbelief than anything else. “You... and your _wife_ … are the two most powerful people in the galaxy,” he said. “And you’ve let yourselves be reduced to running errands for your mother?”

Ben shrugged. “Power doesn’t really get you anything,” he said. “Except more power. And what can you even do with it? Nothing.”

“People respect power,” Hux argued.

“People respect actions,” Ben said. “And choices. And you don’t need power to make choices or take action.”

“You’ve gone soft,” Hux said disapprovingly.

“Most of me,” Ben agreed with a smirk, and Hux sneered.

“You’re _disgusting_ ,” he said.

“I’m _happy_ ,” Ben countered. “Look at me. I mean, really look. Look at my face.”

Hux rolled his eyes, then looked at Ben. And looked. And really saw him, for the first time. Ben watched a few different things flicker over Hux’s eyes, then he looked away, shifting uncomfortably.

Ben relaxed a little, glancing around. “Made any friends yet?” he asked.

Hux rolled his eyes again, but after a moment he replied, “I play pazaak with a couple of dock workers on my days off,” voice reluctant, like admitting to a dark secret.

Ben grinned. “See? Even a stiff little weirdo like you can make friends.”

“Shut up,” Hux said, and Ben laughed at him. “You and that Calrissian, always harping on me to – to _socialize_. I have nothing in common with any of these people.”

Ben shrugged. “Who cares? You don’t have to have the same experiences to find common ground.”

“Like your parents?” Hux said, clearly trying to poke at Ben.

“Yeah,” he said gently. “Like my parents.”

Ben let that sink in for a moment, then took a step back. “I’m going to go find Lando and make sure he hasn’t charmed my wife into running away with him-”

“Why do you keep calling her that?” Hux asked. “Your wife? Isn’t her name Rey or something?”

Ben turned his head, staring in the direction he could feel her presence. “Because if I keep saying it, maybe one day it’ll set in that this isn’t a dream I’m going to wake up from, that she’s really here, that she really agreed to marry me.” He turned back to look at Hux who was watching him now, a strange mix of discomforted and desperately curious. “Take care of yourself,” Ben said, and then walked away, following the bright spot of Rey in his mind.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It's not the same Ebon Hawk because that ship would be a fossil; I like to imagine it's a replica that some history-obsessed, rich noble had made, which inevitably got stolen because duh, it's the Ebon Hawk.


End file.
